Exercise Ball Fun

My lady friend has one of these balls. It is pretty easy to knock someone down.

Mountaineers Down Mountain State

The debut of the Huggy-Bear Mounties last night was special for me in several ways. I had the pleasure of attending the game with several friends from home. Home for us is also home to the visitors to the Coliseum- the Mountain State University Cougars (formerly the College of West Virginia Cougars, and formerly the Beckley College... was there a mascot then?) Anyway, I digress. The game featured basketball legend Dave Barksdale playing second fiddle to former protege' Bob Bolen. Dave gained his mythological stature by winning seemingly countless West Virginia High School State Championships at BSR's Alma Mater, Woodrow Wilson High School. Eight Championship games in a decade is a pretty stellar run. Even if you only win five. Jesus... let me tell you about George Pope.



Alright, as for the Mountianeers. I personally think we could use more than a single exhibition game to get the team fine tuned for the season. Shooting 46% from the floor in the game, we looked a little sloppy- but not horrible. The striped shirts weren't helping- blowing the whistle ad nauseum 21 personal fouls on WVU, and a grand total of 40 for both teams.

We still like to rain three pointers, 12 of 29 for 41% on the night. We could still use a donimant inside presence. Smalligan was nearly knocked out by MSU's Jason McGriff early in the first half. I don't expect anyone to take a blindsided shoulderblock to the face and smile- but we could use some force on the blocks.

Darris Nichols led the way with 21 and looked sharp. Joe Alexander managed to put up 19 despite having to deal with gigantic new biceps. He must work out. Da'Sean Butler led the efforts on the boards with 8, one more than Alex Ruoff's 7. The two had 16 and 14 points respectively. Starting center Jamie Smalligan chipped in with 2 pts and 0 rebounds in 12 minutes. I dunno there.

Overall, I have no complaints about an 88-65 win over one of the top teams in the NAIA (2004 National Champions NAIA) and I guess the large number of three point shots is to be expected. This is really a Beilein team with a Huggy-Bear coach. Huggins was rocking some slick snakeskin/gator/komodo dragon slippers. He IS pretty cool. BSR must admit. Season tickets were mailed out late last week. I don't plan on missing any games, and promise to keep you posted on all the goings on you may not be able to read about on MSN.

First tidbit- the large dancing man (you know... YMCA) he's back. He also has a lady helper who got the student section primed and ready. Also, the Mountaineer himself made it atop a moving man pyramid. OS would have worn his white shoes and loved it.

Coliseum Scoreboard Update

According to the USA Today this morning (see Across the USA on page 13A) the Mountaineers Basketball home will soon receive a much needed update. Two Mon county natives have bestowed a $25 million donation on the school. The money, in addition to fund health care programs and support the College of Engineering and Mineral Resources, will be used for a new scoreboard in the Coliseum. Anyone who has attended a basketball game in the past decade knows this is long overdue.

Here Comes Johnny

I welcome Johnny to our humble site. Not so much with open arms... I am not quite ready to hug it out. I like the idea of adding to the Bastard family. I do approve of the things I have read from our newest addition, and especially like Pink Floyd references. They make me so happy. Johnny may well change his mind once he meets up with our little tribunal. Especially once he meets OS. Not kidding at all. Definitely if they happen to meet at a golf outing and share a cart. Once McGoo drives him over a cliff and through a pond on the first hole only to get angrily silent for the last seventeen- Johnny may well decide to reopen his solo affair. I hope he gives us enough time to get through the First Annual Bastard Sons of Pinfall Marks Cheap-ass Tailgate 2007. We could certainly use another guy to chip in on the goodies. I have personally pledged a case of Natty Light. LPTS is in for some cheap plastic bottle o' booze- or is it vice versa? Anyway- maybe Johnny will sponsor a 40 oz. or something.

I am a Bud Heavy guy myself, but do approve of Coors Original. Coors light is awful. Cheers.

First Annual James Way Classic

The tourney you heard reference to last weekend, the First Annual James Way Classic was a huge success. Many beers were consumed and hopefully many charitous dollars were raised for a good cause. As far as I know the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has never had such an enjoyable fundraiser.

BSR's foursome crushed tasty beverages for a long time, made a few birdies, a couple bogies were laughed off, but we did finish under par- as friends and family of a dear friend gathered together to golf and celebrate the life of my good friend Jim.

Yours truly had a fighting chance for the long drive award, but too many beers were consumed in the 12 holes preceding the designated competition hole. I was not in the fairway... but felt great missing.

Played at Rattlewood GC in Rockville, MD- I discovered Birch Beer... Deliciouoso! As well as catching up with Billiam. Should our loyal fans feel the desire to join in the festivities next year I will fill you in. I love golf and beer and booze. I am El Nino. That is Spanish for... the Nino.

Round of Reubens

And just like that Mitch Vingle atones. After Dave Hickman tried to take the law into his own hands last week and failed miserably, I was starting to worry about the Gazette. We took our problems with the article to Hickman, Vingle, and the Gazette's editor in emails and while we won't claim the glory we are very happy with the article released today.

Mitch Vingle went to the law school and interviewed Vince motherfucking Cardi. The Man. And the man told him exactly what the Bastards have been saying all along (probably because we all had him for a professor). The problem with the liquidated damages clause was not a lack of time frame, but that it looked like a penalty which would eliminate the clause and only give actual damages. Thank you Mitch. Now send a copy over the Mickey Furfari. He may be a legend, but he's wrong too because as Cardi said in Vingle's article there will always be a possibility of a loophole due to the unforeseeable aspects of the liquidated damages clause.

Meanwhile Hickman stands by his belief that banning text messages was wrong, but at least he isn't arguing that it is because coaches will simply call now. I don't have a problem with people that wanted to see text messaging continue, in fact EDSBS put together a rational argument for text messaging. Hickman just made the wrong argument the first time.

In non-self congratulatory news the WVU soccer team was put on probation for violations under former coach Seabolt. WVU will receive two years of reduced recruiting conduct and lessened visits. However, the NCAA found that the conduct was not due to lack of institutional control so no schollies were lost. There were three areas of concern. Seabolt was employed over the summer as an outside amateur coach kind of like an AAU coach. During this time he brought in WVU and prospective WVU players to the team which is an illegal practice and evaluation of prospective talent. Secondly, prospective student athletes were found to have participated in WVU practices before signing with the school while living cost free in the area. Finally, Seabolt apparently knew of a professional playing Australian and hid the files so that he would still be eligible. The lesson as always is never trust Australians with your beer.

In academic news the WVU men's football team is one point shy of the desired APR number of 925 which is calculated by athletes on scholarship remaining eligible and remaining enrolled. A perfect score is 1,000 and was achieved at WVU by the rifle and women's cross country teams. A grace period has been implemented, but will be removed by the NCAA in the upcoming year. Teams that do not reach 925 can have scholarships reduced.

Other programs that could face possible sanctions next year without improvement are Pitt baseball (923); West Virginia football (924), baseball (919), men's (915) and women's (910) basketball and wrestling (891); Penn State fencing (915); Duquesne men's basketball (909); and Robert Morris men's basketball (903), lacrosse (908) and women's golf (900).

Somebody find Brandon Barrett and get him a book. And have him read it to the wrestlers.

Round of Reubens

The NCAA may close the text message loophole after the management council has recommended a ban on electronically transmitted correspondence with exceptions for limited faxes and emails. Phone calls and personal visits have been limited for years, but a loophole had allowed coaches unlimited numbers of text messages to kids. The move is supported by Chris Hansen as more than once he lured an old man to a meeting with a 16 year old boy via texting to watch videos of the boy and the man turned out to be a coach wanting to watch the kids highlight reel.

How will WVU cope with this change? Well according to the Charleston Gazette Rodriguez will be happy. Warning about the article at the Gazette. Writer Dave Hickman must not understand the rule as he makes a case to keep it because otherwise recruits will be called constantly. This is dead wrong as coaches have very limited numbers and times they can call recruits. The loophole was that they could text unlimited. Hickman is an idiot. On Rich's texting abilities:

I’m one-fingering it and I’ve got to look at it and make sure stuff is spelled right. So it takes me all week just to get my guys once a week. Rodriguez said. Some guys are a lot faster. Most guys are a lot faster. . . I’m still learning the slang, Rodriguez said. I still spell out ‘you’ instead of just using ‘u.’ I still write ‘two’ instead of ‘2.’ I haven’t even gotten the shortcuts down.

One of the most innovative coaches in college football over the past decade is befuddled by a phone or email (he doesn't use it either). So it is doubtful he reads the Bastards, damn. Luckily for him this coaching things seems to be working out as most other people have to give that new fangled technology a try at/for work.

Finally, ouch. A Preston County couple is suing WVU Hospitals for an injury caused to their son during a circumcision.

They also claim Hunter has been permanently disfigured and request full compensation for the injuries and damages sustained

I would think a jury of all males would be supported by the plaintiffs in this one.

And in a related story, according to the DA,Cox slips into NCAA Nationals.

Fear The Turtle

I am in the neather regions of West Virginia with the Maryland anonymous guy from the family from here further known as "Wolf." I am disapointed to relay to BSR that the White Star is closed. The Kac-a-pon still has gravy though.

Maybe we could contact this guy before our tailgate,

This 12 man beer bong looks promising. Delivering two beers per person per round, that case of Natty I pledged would be good for one time. Assuming of course that we have at least nine readers show up willing to try it out. For those of you who are little apprehensive, there will be a bag of snack size snickers on hand also. Created by the guy in the orange, and stolen from Deadspin, who stole it from EDSBS, I place it hear because it does kick ass. I have created similar contraptions, but never for more than a foursome. I give credit to that guy from Milwaukee.

Also, The Yankees are tied for first place with the big win over Tampa. Boston on the other hand had a hard time with KC. A-Rod even made up for the E on the pop-up with a big fly late in the game. tummysticks loves A-Rod and his purple lips.

Tailgate Getting Better

For those of you who may not read the comments as religiously as the posts themselves, I will herein share the news I broke as a comment to the story about our ads, and our big plans for spending the profits.

It is my understanding that we are at least $0.18 closer to the 40 oz. and Snickers fun pack we promised readers at our free tailgate. Date and time TBA. Well, I will go on record with my commitment to up the ante. Upon the arrival of the date and time TBA, I will supply the tailgate with one whole case of COLD Natty Light. Thats right Bastard fans, ice cold natty. I encourage my fellow contributors to pony up something equally as nice.

Truth in advertising

This was a post that was supposed to wait a few months, but has to be pushed up. Some of you more observant readers may have noticed ads appearing on our blog. Some have even commented on them. After talking to the family members who know me well enough to accuse me I found out they were innocent. That means it was someone else. Well I ask you readers if you can't trust a someone posting under the name letsplaytummysticks that you have never met then who can you trust? Only Ron Burgandy can describe my pain, "I am hurt and shocked and offended and. . . and hurt." Well, yes I could use the money to buy nice things like a Fletch jersey.However, we didn't start the blog to make money. For god's sake we aren't good enough writers to deserve any compensation if anything we should be paying you to read us. So when we realized we actually had a few readers and could make some money we had to decide what to do. Stay pure or sell out for a reason.

There are many good reasons to sell out. We didn't want any personal compensation so we had other choices. Give money to WVU hospitals or the Ronald McDonald house. Donate to the Mountaineer Athletic Club. Cash it in and leave it in an envelope in Coach Beilein's mailbox. We decided to go with the most altruistic cause we could think of; a kick-ass party. The promise from us is that any proceeds made from the blog will be given back to the readers in the form of a free tailgate which will be determined later in the year. Details will follow after parking passes are issued and the money is gathered. Right now we are on track for 2 forties of Hurricane and a funpack of Snickers for the Pitt game. So in a sense we are paying you to read us. It worked for us making friends not getting beat up daily in high school.

Round of Reubens

Get ready for Michigan to put the full court press on Beilein as soon as the NIT is over. From the website Mlive

This search isn't Beilein or bust, but it's close.
Close enough that it's hard to imagine Martin finding someone who's a better fit.
And even harder still to find someone who's a better coach.

OK that's fine, they like him. Now tell us what you think of WVU and Morgantown.

If he's such a good coach, why doesn't he recruit better?

"Have you ever been to Morgantown?'' the Big East assistant asks. "It makes Pittsburgh look like Miami. Nobody has ever - or will ever - recruit four-star (recruits) to Morgantown.''

Another former Big East assistant now working in another Division I league offered similar thoughts on the West Virginia coach earlier this week.

Ouch. Well I have very few contacts at WVU's athletic department, but one of them has stated that there is no current negotiation to extend Beilein and it is Beilein that is not talking. He may want to get out. We still have the option we've been asking for here and apparently is catching on. The Charleston Gazette on Marshall's coaching search including the aptly named Gregg Marshall from Winthrop:

Marshall could become available in a few years, after he gets his schnoz busted at South Florida. But for now, he seems bent on getting in the top six conferences, even if he has to take America’s most impossible job. Winthrop is going all out to keep him — even naming the court after him, according to one report.

Speaking of recruiting, Alabama is claiming a much needed victory over WVU. They got a kicker.

One was from West Virginia and the other was from Bama. Smith, who was the No. 2 kicker at the Scout.com combine and was all-state as a kicker and punter last season, spurned coach Rich Rodriguez and the Mountaineers to make the trip south to Tuscaloosa.

I wouldn't really care, except that West Virginia native Nick Saban totally pwn3d Rodriguez by stealing this kid away. And that makes my schadenfreude-fueled heart all warm.

Awww, they really do care about us. Finally, WVU baseball fans got their moneys worth this Saturday as WVU swept a double header from Seton Hall. The first game went 13 innings. 22 innings for the price of one. What a country.

Sound Advice

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

Now I'm not saying that I've been everywhere and I've done everything, but I do know it's a pretty amazing planet we live on, and a man would have to be some kind of FOOL to think we're alone in THIS universe.

Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, "Give me your best shot. I can take it."

yeah, just three girls making out

West Virginia native Bob Starkey is now the active coach of the LSU womens basketball program after Pokey Chatman was forced to abruptly resign this week.

From the Daily Mail:

The Times-Picayune of New Orleans reported on its Web site Thursday that the resignation was prompted by the school's discovery of alleged inappropriate conduct between the 37-year-old Chatman and one or more players. Later, ESPN.com reported LSU had found out about an alleged improper sexual relationship between Chatman and a former player.

I need that!

It snowed a bunch here earlier today. I was looking at leftovers in the fridge with both distaste and distrust, but the roads were too bad go out and get anything. Then I remembered LaLa. I wish I had a penguin that would go to Sheetz for me pulling a cart he could load up with beer, hotdogs, and darts for the Aussie. I tried to get the little dogs to go but Fredo wouldn't even leave the porch to pee and Vedder can't walk further than 3 feet if there is snow on the ground before she starts limping. Plus penguins make that cool noise, waaawaaa. Or at least every Penguin in the Batman movies/shows/cartoons made that noise. I'm sure they were accurate in their depiction of the bird, I mean all penguins smoke and carry umbrellas too, don't they?

Round of Reubens

According to this article in the Daily Mail, WVU needs to attempt fewer three pointers in this game versus Providence. Really? I mean last time when we shot 41 you don't think that was good? Our reaction to that game was here.

March 15-17 seven WVU wrestlers will compete in the NCAA tournament at the Palace at Auburn Hills in Detroit. I don't know if having a wrestling tournament, even without Stone Cold Steve Austin, in Detroit is the smartest idea. I did see that whole Ron Artest Brawl. Anyway, from the Daily Mail:

Rogers, a heavyweight, and 157-pounder Fryling join automatic qualifiers Mark Anderson (133), Brandon Rader (141), David Jauregui (149), Kurt Brenner (174) and Jared Villers (197). All earned automatic bids at the Eastern Wrestling League Championships this past weekend.

Good luck and watch out for any wrestlers with managers, those guys always seem to get involved somehow and the ref never sees it, it's crazy

WVU may have also picked up another late recruit for the 2006 season. The post signing day boon seems to continue (they must have seen the recruiting video or the girls kissing, probably the girls kissing) as Alric Arnett of Butler Community College for a year and Scottsdale Community College for a year has signed on to play for the Mountaineers. Alric (whose name is pronounced like the Chinese restaurant singers in "A Christmas Story" trying to say Alex) led his team with 10 catches for 100 yards last year and is considered a speed receiver. 10 catches led the team? Either Scottsdale REALLY likes to run the ball or had a rash of severe accidents/deaths at the quarterback position this year.

2 pickets to Tittsburgh

This weekend, thanks to BigP, I was able to observe High School football coaches in the wild and believe me there is a reason they are normally kept in cages. BigP invited me to attend the Nike "Coach of the Year" Clinic in Pittsburgh, PA. Among the many lessons I learned, the foremost is that high school football coaches are among the most degenerate, free-loading, drunken groups on earth when all together. God I've never felt like I belong somewhere so much in my life. I was invited for two reasons. The first reason was that last years guest was so out of control he couldn't be invited back. After seeing some of the coaches at this clinic I'm pretty sure the only thing he could have done was stab a man just to watch him die or take a dump on a vendor's table. Reason number 2, Coach Rich Rodriguez was a speaker on Friday evening. So I packed up the family tractor and headed to Pittsburgh.

Some random observations about coaches:

They really like to dress alike. Thank God my group did not do this, but almost every school had four guys in matching hats, jackets, t-shirts, and sweat pants running around looking for a game I guess.

They will stand in line for ever for a free handout. I admire this quality as so will I, even for just a Hershey's miniature.

Without women these guys devolved about 200 years in 2 days. By Sunday nothing but grunts and spitting was used to communicate. And finally, speaking of women there aren't any around when these guys meet. Friday night there where two Miller Lite Girls at the bar. Surrounded by 200 coaches it looked like Night at the Roxbury on HGH. One of the girls had to be rushed to the hospital for third degree burns due to old men rubbing on her.

Coach Rod spoke for about 1 and a half hours during prime drinking time, I made it through the first 45 minutes. As a speaker he does an amazing job of relating to the audience. Fowler and Herbstreit always praise him when doing a game here. I can see why. He can tell a story and uses self-depricating humor well to make the audience comfortable. Just a guy talking football with some great stories. Some of his best lines.
"I'm president of the Hispanic Coaches Association, though it's not a big deal since there are only three of us."
"Our first meeting it was just me and Barry Alvarez at a Taco Bell in Madison."
"My topic is passing, I'm not sure why the 115th ranked passing game coach is speaking about passing but here we go."
On the invention of the read option out of the spread, "So in practice one day our quarterback misses the handoff and runs the other way, he says 'I was reading the end' to cover for himself. I look at him and say, 'We were putting that in next week!' to cover for myself having not thought of it yet."
"So now you've got a guy who can't play dead in a Western, but you have to play him because his Dad just gave you $10,000."

One final word. I met a porn star. Didn't get her name, but she was at a club with a signing both and called me over. I wasn't going to buy anything, that would take money. She asked me if I was Jimmy. I told her no. She explained that Jimmy was a security guy that was supposed to be there and he was to wear an orange shirt (I was wearing an orange polo shirt). She then asked me why I was wearing an orange shirt. I explained that I am color-blind and thought it was green. She felt bad so I told her that was a joke, but that I had to wear it because my group wanted to be able to find me because I kept getting lost and refuse to wear the cowbell around my neck anymore. She told me that she didn't think I should have to wear a cowbell either. I then excused myself. It just goes to show you that not every porn star works in a genetics lab during the day.

Somebody should post something...

I am a firm believer in a number of things, most notably the healing powers of Dew. While this wonderful beverage possesses many whimsical powers- the one thing it doesn't have is boobs. Hence the picture provided here. If she came equipped with something capable of ticklin' my innards... I can't really tell you what I might be capable of.

Let us all try to forgive her for choice of educational institution. I do like her shirt, although boobs, and uh- sorry, funbags.

Remember everyone, Diet Dew is for the ladies. Today is Friday, and nobody has posted anything- we seem to only be adding to the previous Dew comment thread. This is nothing more than outlet for further Dew discussion. woot.

Pacman update

There is an article on aolfanhouse (sure wish they'd link us. - OS) that brings up some new Pacman Jones revelations. It appears as though Pac enjoys drugs in a way that only Courtney Love, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Morton Robert Downey Jr., and a few others will ever know. In more worrisome news for Pacman, he is also a gambler in a league with Charles Barkley and John Daly. He may have gambled thousand of dollars on college football. Pacman may be hearing from Commissioner Goddall very soon. According to the NFL Collective Bargaining Agreement:

INTEGRITY OF GAME. Player recognizes the detriment to the League and professional football that would result from impairment of public confidence in the honest and orderly conduct of NFL games or the integrity and good character of NFL players. Player therefore acknowledges his awareness that if he accepts a bribe or agrees to throw or fix an NFL game; fails to promptly report a bribe offer or an attempt to throw or fix an NFL game; bets on an NFL game; knowingly associates with gamblers or gambling activity; uses or provides other players with stimulants or other drugs for the purpose of attempting to enhance on-field performance; or is guilty of any other form of conduct reasonably judged by the League Commissioner to be detrimental to the League or professional football, the Commissioner will have the right, but only after giving Player the opportunity for a hearing at which he may be represented by counsel of his choice, to fine Player in a reasonable amount; to suspend Player for a period certain or indefinitely; and/or to terminate this contract.

In other Pacman related news, he may have a new rule named after him. NFL players are advocating a three strikes and you're out for personal misconduct. Today on Cold Pizza, the Giants' player representative Jay Feely admitted that the rule was based upon two things:

1. The Bengals number of arrests (Chris Henry) this season; and
2. Players like Pacman Jones who has 8 off the field instances in his career already.

So he's got that going for him.

Go Get Your Shinebox

Not WVU or sports related, but the director of Goodfellas, Casino and Taxi Driver finally got his due last night.


GOODFELLAS
Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I'm free the next morning.

What's the fuckin' matter with you? What - what is the fuckin' matter with you? What are you, stupid or what? Tommy, Tommy, I'm kidding with you. What the fuck are you doin'? What are you, a fuckin' sick maniac?
How am I meant to know you're kidding? What you mean, you're kidding? You breaking my fuckin' balls?
I'm fuckin' kidding with you! You fuckin' shoot the guy?
He's dead.
Good shot. What do you want from me? Good shot. Fuckin' rat anyway. Kid's all rat. He'll grow up to be a rat.
You stupid bastard, I can't fuckin' believe you. Now, you're gonna dig the fuckin' thing now. You're gonna dig the hole. You're gonna do it. I got no fuckin' line. You're gonna do it.
Who the fuck cares? I'll dig the fuckin' hole. I don't give a fuck. What is it, the first hole I dug? Not the first time I dug a hole. I'll fuckin' dig a hole. Where are the shovels?

CASINO
I'm just curious. I saw you shuffling your checks with your right hand. Can you do that with both hands?
No.
Can't do it with both hands?
No, sir.
Can you do it with your left hand?
Well, I... I never tried.
So you're a righty?
Yeah.
[one of the guards repeatedly bangs the signaller's right hand with a hammer]
Now you're gonna have to learn with your left hand.

TAXI DRIVER
[Travis is trying his guns on the mirror] Huh? Huh?
[Draws]
Faster than you, fucking son of a... Saw you coming you fucking... shitheel.
[Reholsters]
I'm standing here; you make the move. You make the move. It's your move...
[Draws]
Don't try it you fuck.
[Reholsters]
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? Oh yeah? OK.
[Draws]