Possible Replacement OCs

As if its not already obvious from our first three games of the season, time has come for a new offensive coordinator. we bastards have come up with a list of potential replacements. Feel free to contribute your ideas in the comments:

1. Ask Corso - NCAA 07
Pros: Fewer bubble screens. Continuation of lack of coherent offensive scheme, which we apparently like.

Cons: It's Corso (sort of).

2. Magic Eight Ball.
Pros: Its magic!

Cons: Burn through timeouts when answer is: "Check back later."

3. Any waitress from Keglers.
Pros: Kinda hot. Nice shorts. Great recruiter.

Cons: Crabs.

4. Charley Taafe
Pros: Available. He was our original first choice for OC.

Cons: Couldn't hack it in the CFL.

5. Lump of coal.
Pros: From West Virginia

Cons: Who cares? Its from West Virginia (see Bill Stewart).

6. 20 sided die:
Pros: Randomness. Unpredictable.

Cons: 18 too many sides.

7. Prayer
Pros: Its the Christian thing to do. God.

Cons: Similarity to current scheme.

Please share your ideas in the comments.