Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Good week for Pitt

After last week Pitt needed some good news. The Panthers received some to start the week as Joe Clermond had his marijuana possession charge withdrawn yesterday.

In addition Pitt received a commitment from Maryland WR Ronald Hobby over the weekend. Hobby has already shown that he is not shy about his abilities.

"I'm electrifying," the cornerback/receiver/return specialist said. "I think that's the best way to say it."

ESPN has their College Football Live talking heads enter the debate on whether or not Slaton or White can win the Heisman. Lack of hype was not among the reasons for Slaton not to win.

The Dailymail has a Q and A with new WVU president Mike Garrison with one answer of interest:

Q: Are you caught up in the excitement propelled by preseason publications that WVU is a contender for the national football championship this year? Is this exposure beneficial to the institution in other areas?

A: I'm a fan at heart. I happen to have the job as president, which makes me uniquely situated. But I'm still a fan. It's a special time of year right now to get ready.

I'm caught up in the excitement. I'm very proud of what Rich (Rodriguez) has done for the team. He's a Marion County guy, like me, and I've known him. That makes me doubly proud.

The exposure that we get is only good for our university. Students and their parents choose WVU because of academics. But having a great athletic program is very important.

I just returned from Harvard, where they had a four-day seminar for 46 new presidents from all over the country. The first thing most of them said to me was, "I hear your team is in the Top 5 preseason."

What it allows us to do is have an open door to talk about biometrics program or health sciences or other academics.

He's right you know. I don't know how many times I've had a conversation with someone at a bar and we start talking about WVU football and end up having a heated all night debate on biometrics or other academics. What can I say, I'm a scholar.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Round of Reubens

Former WVU quarterback Rasheed Marshall is looking to become the next slash for the Steelers. Hopefully Marshall can get some playing time and become a difference maker. He was always controversial while at WVU as his ascension to starter caused Scott McBrein to transfer to Maryland and throw for roughly 25,000 yards against WVU in 3 years.

While Randle El's statistics at Indiana are among the best for a quarterback in Big Ten history, Marshall's career at West Virginia was similar. A captain and team MVP, Marshall led the Mountaineers to a 24-12 record and was a Big East offensive player of the year. He ranks among the school and Big East career leaders in QB rushing (2,040 yards), touchdowns produced (68), career yards (7,598), TD passes (45) and yards passing (5,558).

Even in his senior season, while becoming the Big East offensive player of the year, the crowd was always one bad pass away from demanding Charles Hales at quarterback. Hales brother Trippe now plays for WVU so Charles is probably still around Morgantown from time to time giving drunken assholes a ride to the bar.

Mickey Furfari is continuing give readers an inside look at some of the players that are expecting break out seasons. His latest is new Bastard man-crush JT Thomas. JT is the son of former WVU linebacker James Thomas and will be a starter at some point this season. So far the man-crush has proven to be a good sign as the last two were Pat White and Quinton Andrews.

And in news that is too bizarre to not be true it appears as though Pacman Jones will sign in some capacity with TNA wrestling this week. Michael Vick may also be interested. He just found out that there is wrestling that doesn't involve dogs.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Position Reports: Long Snapper

And now for the second installment of position reports for the upcoming year.

From the Exponent Telegram, Adam Hughes, a former walk-on, will be this year's starting long snapper.

For those who don't [know], [Adam] Hughes is the heir apparent to Tim Lindsey as WVU's long snapper.

"I was fortunate to see two great snappers here in Tim and Scott Fleming before him," Hughes said, "I hope I can fill their shoes adequately."
Former long snapper, Tim Lindsey, is still trying out with the Atlanta Falcons. Recent reports suggest he has been given a few reps at QB, along with every other male resident of the state of Georgia.

When asked about recent developments with the QB position in Atlanta, rookie head coach Bobby Petrino softly spoke while looking away wearily, "What's so great about Louisville and playing your senior season? You could've been the starter!" But I digress... back to long snapper in Morgantown:

Prediction: Snaps on 2,342 1 point Good-One-Patrick's, zero punts, zero 3-point Good-One-Patrick's.

...eh?... wha?... oh we scored again. Ok, hang on.... yawn.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Irrational Exuberance

Who wants the Heisman anyway?

Thank you Alan Greenspan. Much like my portfolio, Mountaineer hopes for a Heisman award winner are at their losest point since January.

Slaton finished fourth last year behind Troy Smith, Darren McFadden and Brady Quinn. With Smith permanently demorialized by Florida and Quinn off to flex biceps for Male Athlete Monthly, it would seem Slaton's only competition for the upcoming year would be Arkansas's best quarterback, Darren McFadden. Additionally, some folks think Arkansas is going to have a tougher time this year and hamper the 26" rimmed Crown Vic.

Vegas seems to share in this analysis. Odds on Slaton are currently 4.5:1, barely trailing future presidential assassin John David Booty (4:1) and Big East rival Brian Brohm (3.5:1). McFadden comes in at 5:1.

We Bastards are obviously big fans of the Mountaineers and thank the good lord above daily for Coach Fridge discarding Slaton in favor of his 6th rack of ribs. But... I don't think he will win the Heisman this year for the following reasons.

First, the Heisman is awarded based upon votes. And unfortunately, WVU doesn't have a lot of those. Booty, on the other hand, goes to USC. And apparently, USC Heisman votes get a little boost "for being on the west coast" just like the PAC-10's strength of schedule ranking.

Second, WVU has no marketing campaign. Does Slaton even have a web page up? Despite my googility, I was unsuccesful in finding anything other than the Heismaneer - which appears to be a fan created site.

Third, Slaton may not be the most valuable player on his own team. In recent years, the Heisman, at least to this casual observer, has transformed from the "Best Player in College Football Award" to an MVP Award given to the most important member from one of the year's best teams. All one must do is look back to the Georgia Tech game or the Louisville game of the year before to see who the most important player on this Mountaineer team is.

And fourth, speaking of Patrick, he's bound to get a few votes, too, consequently taking away several votes in what is anticipated to be a very close vote.

Perhaps its my appalachian upbringing resulting in a subtle "us vs. them" paranoia, but I don't like mainstream sports media. Over the past few years, as WVU grew from a perenial 20-40, but before we fully arrived, I read and heard various media outlets "liking" us. I take this now as the "lovable loser" admiration. "Ah, the little school that couldn't is trying real hard this year. How cute." (See Corso preseason picks '04.)

But now, suddenly, we're legitimate and that makes us a threat. Suddenly, the attention from ESPN has waned. Slaton didn't even get mentioned on the Heisman preview show. And I expect this be-quiet-and-they'll-go-away approach to continue through the year.
Argh... I should probably leave the conspiracy theories to those more qualified. Paging AngryEER.

A tale of two cities

It appears as though WVU fans must support not only their favorite team, but any other team within traveling distance to keep opponent athletic departments functional. WVU has stopped selling season tickets after approximately 38,000 have been sold despite a raise in ticket prices this year. It is unlikely that there will be single game tickets to many, if any, games this year. The most likely game for Mountaineer fans to grab a single game ticket is UConn since they probably won't use their entire allotment. In fact WVU fans are so excited they have nearly bought out Marshall's season tickets to get a ticket to WVU-Marshall despite it starting at 3:30 a.m.

Monroe pointed to West Virginia's allotment of 5,000 tickets at Joan C. Edwards Stadium (capacity 38,089) and the limited eligibility (donors must give at least $2,500 to the Mountaineer Athletic Club to qualify for WVU-Marshall tickets through West Virginia's ticket office, Monroe said) as incentives for Mountaineer fans to purchase Marshall season tickets.

"I can definitely see those season ticket packages coming from WVU fans as well," Monroe said.

Meanwhile Pitt continues to fall into irrelevance as they are now one step away from Soup Can night according to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazzette. A home schedule of Eastern Michigan, Grambling, Connecticut, Navy, Cincinnati, Syracuse and South Florida is not exactly causing the season tickets to fly off of the shelves. In fact Pitt has had to resort to drastic measures to try and sell these turds.

Season tickets for the seven-game home schedule to be played at Heinz Field are going for as low as $120, but that's not the tenth of it. Anyone purchasing such a plan, which comes to $17.14 game, can buy a second season-ticket package for $10, which comes to $1.43 a ticket.

Looks like there are going to be a lot of Pitt fans dressed up like yellow seats again this year. Pitt has lived on the traveling fans of WVU, ND, PSU, and others for years now including increasing ticket prices for games in which the opposing team's fans will travel to make a profit for their season. They better hope the seamen bring some fans this year or that rent check to the Steelers may bounce.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Underwear goes inside the pants

As the week has progressed I've had a chance to watch the drama unfold over at loserswithsocks and can now say I actually feel sorry for them. A quick recap for those that have not been able to follow. LWS had apparently been reading some WVU message boards and took an opportunity to respond to some of the threads with a retort on their site. Their premise was that the Big East was not quite as good as the WVU message boards believed. Unfortunately, instead of any rational debate it appears as though a brother of Jesco White was the voice of counterargument for the Mountaineers. The rants from their new friend have progressed from juvenille to downright batshit crazy in a matter of days. As I stated in the commments earlier you've got to be careful taking in strays as they will end up shitting in your house. And apparently they won't leave, even after rubbing their ass on the carpet.

Additionally, the SEC covering blog must be reeling from the proclimation from Mark May that USC would "stumpbreak" (I believe that is the phrase dreamed up by the mind of the truly deranged) the entire SEC if they were to play in that conference. We Bastards have continually had to suffer through the dementia that is Mark May so we can empathize with the true disgust that must be pumping through SEC veins right now.

Since LWS has had to put up with so much pain, even if somewhat self inflicted much like handing a loaded gun to a crackhead, it appears as though it is time to move forward. Does the Big East as a conference or WVU in general suck? Agree to disagree. However, the love of college football should be able to overcome any differnces. For instance, OS once was on the verge introducing Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary to a guy a few years ago during a WVU/VT game until WVU sealed a victory with seconds remaining. I turned to see them fully embraced in a man hug. Therefore, a link for LWS has been added to the blog in order to create a rational dialoge between these two factions. Who knows maybe after Angry has found a new group to share his tales of NCAA 2008 greatness we can even start leaving messages over there.

Bad week for Pitt

Over the weekend one of the top returning players for the Panthers smoked his way into the big house (not Michigan).

Defensive end Joe Clermond led the Big East with 16.5 tackles for lost and had 5.5 sacks last year. He also enjoys the Summer Jam at the Mellon Arena after begging for free cigars from the E-mart apparently.

Street Response Unit officers were patrolling Mellon Arena parking lots at 1:45 p.m. Saturday when they smelled marijuana smoke coming from one of the vehicles.
Clermond, 22, who was getting out of the silver sport utility vehicle when officers pulled up, denied smoking marijuana, but police spotted what appeared to be a half-smoked blunt, which is a cigar with the tobacco removed and replaced by marijuana.

Clermond was arraigned in Night Court where he got a $50 fine and time served from Harry as usual. Pitt has decided to take the Michael Vick/Falcons approach to this one: "At this juncture, we will decline comment and let the judicial process run its course."

One person Pitt probably won't take the same stance is John Duffy, a local sports announcer for Pittsburgh and press box announcer for Pitt football. Duffy got arrested last week for having a bunch of computer images and video files of sexin'. Between kids. Duffy had at least 18 files of child pornography on his computer. He was relesed on bond and should be heading to trial soon and hell shortly thereafter.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Position Report: Running Backs

Ok, so as promised, some position reports. West Virginia is entering the 07 season anticipated to run the ball 123.53% of the time, so I’ll start with the running backs.

At fullback, of course, we have EDSBS’s favorite mancrush, Owen Schmitt. He’s listed at 6’3”-250. He’s big, he’s strong and he’s relatively fast. He has rushed 113 times for 731 yards, 9 touchdowns and several gnarled facemasks over the last two years. RR is alluding to the fact that Schmitt will also see some time at tight end this year. “My wife’s just been overwhelmed with her burgeoning ebay business. She needs more facemasks to keep up with demand, so we’re going to let Owen get a full head of steam coming off the line before engaging linebackers or the occasional poor soul of a DB.”


Starting tailback is easy and I shouldn’t even have to name him. He runs a 4.3 forty while stylishly sporting a fur coat. His wrist is healthy so the biggest question surrounding his upcoming season, according to Hoppy Kirchibel (sp?), is whether he will shave off his mini-fro. Unless he puts up LT @ TCU numbers, I doubt he wins the Heisman; I just don’t see WVU putting forth the requisite PR campaign, but at least expect him to be in New York.

The New Guy, i.e. Noel Devine, will get playing time, but we shall have to see how quickly he learns the system. As we’ve already noted, he is reportedly faster than Slaton and stronger than Schmitt. He also walks on water and has cured cancer. All while getting his J.D. during summer camp. The last time a freshman RB has been this drooled over, said freshman RB developed a relationship with his pre-catwoman tutor who also happened to be the starting RB’s girlfriend.

Prediction: Slaton wears beautiful fur coat on College Game Day finally enticing Herbstreit out from closet. Devine goes on to costar in a hospital based television drama where he is continually confronted with the conflict between being a good doctor and being a good person.

There some other guys who allegedly suit up to play, but for god’s sake, I hope we don’t see them actually carry the ball.

The Old Big East

Much has been written about the new Big East and the fact WVU has become an annual challenger for the league title in football. Many have pointed to the ACC raid as a catalyst for WVU because the three top dog programs. I did a little research as to how "top dog" the leaving programs were.

The Big East played a full schedule for 12 years with the 8 original football teams. The average finish (in terms of place) for Miami was 1.6, BC was 4.4, VT was 2.8. Miami was unquestionably the big dog. BC was an average team and VT was a top tier team. The remaining Big East teams averages were 3.1 for Syracuse, 3.5 for WVU, 5.1 for Pitt, and 6 for Rutgers (Temple had the Cos' but not a program so I didn't count their average finish so let's just say it was 7.5).

The numbers could lead one to argue that the leaving of VT and Miami opened the door for WVU, however, BC should not enter the conversation as the best finish for BC in a full Big East was third and they were an average forth or fifth place team. Of note for WVU is that the end of the Nehlen era and the beginning of Rodriguez may have sent the average down as WVU endured the 3 worst consecutive years in the Big East (4, 5, 7) in the last two years of Nehlen and first under Rodriguez. If those three years were eliminated WVU would have an average of 2.9. With VT, BC, and Miami still in the Big East WVU finished 2nd and 1st the final two years of the original conference with VT finishing 4th both years and BC finishing 4th and 5th (Miami was first both years). This helps to dispel any nonsense that WVU couldn't win with those three teams in the league with the current coaching philosophy. What the numbers do tend to refute is that Pitt was a standard or flag bearer for the Big East as the Panthers never finished higher than third and would rank sixth in the old Big East order of average finish.

Is the new Big East appreciably easier with USF, Louisville, and Cincinatti? The numbers are too few for clarity. WVU has moved up to an average of 1.5 and Rutgers to 2.5, but Syracuse has fallen to an average of 8 and Pitt has stayed steady at an average of 4.5. The fall of Syracuse has hurt Big East, but the improvement of Rutgers may be able to offset the down times for the Orange.

The old Big East had Miami and everyone else. A team would rise up for a few years to challenge and then fall back down. People tend to make arguments that it had Miami, VT, Syracuse, BC, Pitt, and WVU, but those teams were rarely good at the same time. Every team, including Miami if only for a year of probation, had some down years during the history of the old Big East. BC went 5, 4, 6, 6, 6 in a five year span; VT went 7, 4 to start and 4, 4 to finish; WVU went 4, 5, 7 during the change of the guard; Syracuse went 6, 6 to finish; and Pitt finished 6th or worse 6 times. However, there was always a challenger for Miami. Early and late it was WVU. During the McNabb years Syracuse took the reins, and VT made some serious noise from '95 until '00. Syracuse and VT each won or shared 3 titles while WVU won two. It is too early to tell if the new Big East will have a Miami or if it will be more competitive. From a competition standpoint the top four old Big East teams were Miami, VT, Syracuse, and WVU. The new Big East must be able to offset the losses of two and the fall of another with WVU, Louisville, Rutgers, and USF. The second half of the old Big East was BC, Pitt, Rutgers, and Temple. The new Big East has a second half of Pitt, Cincinatti, UConn, and Syracuse. There are two automatic wins in each and two teams with potential (OBE = BC/Pitt; NBE = Pitt/Cincinatti). The biggest question about the Big East is whether the new configuration will last long enough to find out if it can stack up to the old Big East.

Bobby Bowden in the Hall of Fame

Bobby Bowden stopped gumming a banana long enough to get inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame last weekend in a section in the wide right area of the hall. Bowden related his experiences in the game of football throughout almost 5 decades in a ceremony he made sure was over in time to watch 60 Minutes.

Bowden said the biggest difference with players today - aside from the ear rings and the way they wear their underwear - is they're bigger. When he became head coach at Samford in 1959, he said, a 200-pound lineman was considered big. Now 300-pound linemen are average.

There is one area where today's players fall short though, Bowden said.

"I don't think they are as tough as they were back in those days," he said.

First off I didn't watch a lot of college football back in the 50's, but I would argue that Slaton playing an entire year with a broken wrist and White's performance in the Gator Bowl dispell any myths of the toughness of today's player.

But, more importantly why are Florida State football players wearing their jockstraps backwards? That would seem to be uncomfortable and hopefully is getting changed if the Seminoles hope to get back to an elite program.

Bowden also related some of the things that he feels have improved and worsened over the years. He feels that the interwebs are evil along with the "moving picture boxes" that steal your soul. Also on the negatives are the anti-nepotism movement which kept him from having an all-Bowden coaching staff. Poor Jeffy had really worked on the two runs and a jump ball offense and now has to spend his afternoons fingerpainting while wearing his special helmet. Bowden is also skeptical of those fancy "flying machines" and conferences which keep you from scheduling the likes of The University of Mexico, Gordon Junior College, Millington Naval Air Station, and the Tennessee Tech Freshman Team (actual opponents of Bowden coached teams in the 50's and 60's).

However, some things have gotten better for Bowden with age. Bowden spoke of how he used to work long hours creating plays and formations which now is spent napping. Also, safari hats and sunglasses have come a long way in 50 years which makes Bobby happy. In recent years Bowden has also acquired a taste for appeysauce and now makes sure a cup of it is in his pockets at all times. Finally, old age has helped with avoiding scandals. When a star linebacker is accused of sexual assault he used to have to make a ton of excuses for him to play again. Now he can just talk about how Matlock wouldn't suspend the player and then talk about religion. No one questions an old dude.

Bowden's family was with him at the ceremony. No report on if Lauren wore a top.

Inside scoop

The only place I run.Someone wanted more information on Noel Devine and OS spoke about our sources within the athletic department. Well we don't have much, although one of the few we do have was right on about Beilein a month before anyone else was. Anyway I found out some interesting workout news about Noel Devine from a person that has been to the summer Barwis workouts. It seems that not only is Devine freakishly strong, but if the three of Devine, Slaton, and White ran side by side in the 40 they would finish in their before listed places. The source tried to get video of a race, but you can't film anything that breaks the speed of light.

We Suck Lately

I need to apologize to our handful of religious readers.  I've been swamped and/or braindead for the last 2 months with my 9-5 duties and with my 5-9 trying-real-hard-to-be-a-semi-not-retarded-boyfriend duties.  BSR, from the telegrams we've received from the front, is swamped in his 9-7 plus 4 hours of daily driving duties.  And Tummysticks is probably as swamped with his job/wife as I.  It also doesn't help that NCAA '08 just came out.

Fortunately, football season is almost upon us.  And its time for us to step back up to the plate and get you guys some info.  We will get back in touch with our contacts from the Athletics Department on google and get you the cutting edge info you need.

Additionally, loserswithsocks is, recently, a little less non-mountaineer, so it may be worth your time to checkout occasionally.  Note from tummysticks: loserswithsocks is not worth the time as they are attempting to bait WVU fans into a flamewar to get their name out. Also, Johnny is posting again over at the mountaineer.

So stay tuned folks.  We're almost to the end of the summer sahara.

The previously mentioned position reviews?  You've got it.  I swear we'll post one before I leave the office today.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Likes and Dislikes

Steve Slaton likes the competition that Noel Devine is bringing to camp this summer.

I’ve seen him run, and he did a lot more stuff in high school than I ever did,” Slaton said last week. “I think Devine could come in and do well this year as a true freshman.

Joe Alexander likes having muscley arms. Must be from throwing all those papers.

Sen. Byrd dislikes Michael Vick. The speech below is a highlight reel as I'm pretty sure the actual speech started on sometime last week and is still going. Barbaric. Byrd will talk all day and also would like to rattle a paper if allowed.

Here is more Byrd with a special warning of hell for the dog fighters. Ron Mexico doesn't want Big Daddy coming after him. He'll chase him from hill to hill, from mountain to mountain, and valley to valley, but no mixing and matching as we apparently don't work from hill to mountain or mountain to valley in this country.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Position previews

We've been asked a few times to do a preview of the upcoming season. Robin is busy with worky and baseball season. OS can't remember names, and I have become functionally retarted with the issuance of NCAA 2008. On a side note, as a Pirates fan for as long as I can remember the day NCAA drops is when baseball officially ends for me. Besides we are working on something good for the upcoming season to give you a preview of the teams WVU will be playing. You don't need us to tell you about Pat White and Steve Slaton or that we expect WVU to win every game. ESPN can do it for you. They put together a blowout preview on the Mountaineers and while most of their Blue Ribbon previews are pay to read, this one is free. Besides this is the only content from ESPN that isn't trying to force Who's Now down your throat. I hope Joey Chestnut wins. Thanks to the tips from a pantless co-worker and a cousin in the 'Ville.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

NCAA 2008

WVU is ranked 6th and Slaton and White are both second best in the nation at their respective positions.

EDSBS beat us to this, but here is Noel Devine returning a kick against a green team with white helmets. Not sure who they could be.

I'll be back when my thumbs heal.

Monday, July 16, 2007

More Will Ferrell

A lost Neil Daimond sketch. If you haven't seen the Vh1 Storytellers sketch go below thanks to bestweekever.

Neil Diamond and Christina Aguilera in the recording studio

Friday, July 13, 2007

Killing time

J.R. Cash sang about the inherent sadness of waking up Sunday morning with a hangover while everyone else is living their lives. I feel Friday afternoons are the worst because I'm just killing time until the weekend comes and I can create a hangover. The following are some links Robin told me about to Will Ferrell from Golf.com to help get you through the afternoon. Sorry they couldn't be embedded so you'll have to cut and paste into a new window.

The funniest of the bunch: http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid416421268/bctid979196236

You can find the rest of the clips here:


More time killing with video. The White Stripes have been touring and putting on "secret shows" on street corners, in a bowling alley as shown in the following on a school bus. Meg gets to play moraccos.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Borat not a baller

The Athletes in Action U.S. team with Alexander Ruoff and Darris Nichols finsihed tied for third in the 2007 William R. Jones Cup with a 5-4 record. The team finished the tournament losing to Iran, making the Iran Shiek very happy. AIA finsihed in a third place tie behind Jordan and Lebanon. AIA was tied with the Phillippines, Iran, South Korea, and Taiwan. The US team did beat Qatar, Kazakhstan (nice!), and Japan in the standings. The Jones Cup was held in Taipei, Taiwan and has been held every year since 1977 other than in '79 and in '03 (SARS epidemic cancelled the tournament). The AIA team is a ministry of the Campus Crusade for Christ, to help people with questions of faith. I would have had a question for the team had I been at the tournamnet. Is China falling under a biblical plague because 2 billion rats seems like a lot?

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Not Sports Related

... but still pretty bad ass. Linkognito has put together the "10 manliest moments from Man v. Wild", including the following yumminess:

Round of Reubens

A Wheeling couple took the opportunity to marry on 7.7.07 in a WVU themed wedding.

The couple had their first date at TJ's Sports Garden in Wheeling and it was love at first slaw. I'm sure they shared a gallon bucket, but some of that is water. They shared many a converstation over whether or not the baseball cards on the tables were real or if they were just really good printed copies of the originals. The wedding did have the advantage of informal dress as guests dressed in their favorite WVU t-shirt.

“I thought it was cool,” said relative Leslie Haglock after the ceremony. “Everybody is casual and comfortable. They can dance without ripping anything or spilling spaghetti on their shirt.”

First of all eroneous on both accounts. Wearing a t-shirt does not make it less likely that you will rip it or spill spaghetti. And secondly I would worry about spilling spaghetti on or ripping some of my favorite t-shirts (Who Farted? or I'm with Stupid as examples) than I would a dress shirt.

Not to be outdone a Marshall couple tried the same thing while talking up the wedding for months beforehand saying how it would be better than the WVU wedding and they even invited Mathew McConaughey. He smoked his invitation. And only 14 people showed up. Like any Cabel Community College fan, the couple are going to lay low for a while and then start talking smack again in about 8 months just like it never happened. A couple of Terps fans also got married in a theme wedding on the same day. Ralph Freidgen showed up and ate everything including the decorations and the presents. He then went home to protect his house.

Mike Leech eat your heart out. Texas Tech isn't the only school that has an interest in Pirates. Alright that is really the only way to make this sports related other than to state that I like the Pittsburgh Pirates. BTW isn't it sad when you look at the all-star team and Freddy Sanchez and Brian Roberts are the Pirates and Orioles representatives respectively. Freddy is batting 50 points lower than last year while Brian Roberts is bouncing back at the plate but not in the field (as shown last night). It's like each league had to pick a little leaguer to play for an inning.

Anyway, WVU professor Peter Leeson has published an article about the Law and Economics of Pirate Organization. It's pretty long, but actually an interesting read. Maybe on the dumper. His theory is that Pirates actually were highly organized and had at least an informal system of checks and balances and a constitution long before either England or the United States (I haven't read far enough to see if it was before the Magna Carta yet, but I will soon as I had tacos for dinner last night).

Shelly Poe, the WVU SID, is leaving to take a job at Ohio State. I'm not going to lie, I don't care. But something I do care about involving the Buckeyes is the potential for all-state-national-world recruit Josh Jenkins to head to OSU. Jenkins is a lineman out of Parkerburg and committed to WVU in February. However, according to this Rivals article he may not be a solid as it first seemed. Hopefully he can resist the temptations of the sweatervest which includes bags of unmarked bills that can't be traced back to it.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Vlad the Impaler

While we gear up for the festivities tonight in San Francisco for the MLB All-Star game, I find last nights home run derby an excellent opportunity to post this picture I have been sitting on. While I wish I could say I took it at my house, it is from a yahoo search.

SAN FRANCISCO (AFP) - Los Angeles Angels slugger Vladimir Guerrero, playing in his first Major League Baseball home run derby since 2000, beat Toronto Blue Jays right fielder Alex Rios 3-2 in the finals on Monday.

While I am presently on the road and buried in worky, I do hope to find time soon after the action tonight to post an update on the MLB season as it was predicted by yours truly prior to the seasons start. I don't count the Yanks out totally, but do concede they are in the wild card chase already. I feel good about picking the Brew Crew to do well. Look for more baseball and cheap booze in the not to distant future.

Driving with Ford lately?

Noel Devine wasn't the only 5 star running back that signed with a Big East team this season. USF got a commitment from star recruit Mike Ford. Ford was expected to make a splash this upcoming season and he is off to a quick start. The Bulls running back was arrested Friday morning on a comtempt of court charge in his hometown of Sarasota, Florida.

Ford, who was released Saturday morning after posting $2,000 bail, had an outstanding warrant for receiving three citations over the past 16 months and then failing to show for a June 12 court appearance. Ford received the initial citations on March 31, 2006 and Feb. 23, 2007 for driving without a license.

Additionally, on May 29, 2007 Ford was cited for driving with a suspended license and driving an unregistered motor vehicle.

Ford is the second USF football player to be arrested this off-season, following quarterback Matt Grothe's April arrest for selling alcohol to a minor.

Big East representatives have already told USF officials that if they plan on becoming big time they must get the bosters to start kicking in "registered" cars to incoming players immediately.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Where are they now?

Last week it became known that Patrick Beilein had joined his Dad's staff at Michigan. What about some other former Mountaineers from the last few years? Both Kevin Pittsnogle and Mike Gansey are playing this summer in the NBA summer league in Vegas baby. Gansey had 8 points and 3 rebounds in 17 minutes in his first game with the Clippers. Meanwhile Kevin has averaged 4 points and 2.5 boards in 14 minutes of playing time for the first two games with the Cavs. KP is shooting an electric .222% while sporting the most tats in the league and Gansey is shooting .333% but is weighed down by 15 shirts.

Word on the street is that Frank Young signed with the Chicago Bulls for their summer team, however, the official Bulls summer league release for the summer league in Utah has D'or Fischer listed on the roster but no Frank. The bio for Fischer states that he was a member of the EWE Baskets in Oldenburg, Germany last year and averaged almost 12 points, 6.6 rebounds, and 2.6 blocks while being named to the German Bundesliga All-Star Game. That seems like an improvement over his first professional year which was a split between Poland and the Roanoke Dazzle of the D-League. This year, before heading to Germany, Fischer was selected by the Colorado D-League team along with Tyrone Salley. Salley averaged 9.3 points per game and 3.8 rebounds in 23 minutes per game with Colorado this season. He was rewarded by being cut on November 16th.

Joe Herber signed with the FIBA Europe team Alba Berlin and they have a dance team. You've got to love a girl named Nine. Joe is keeping a blog about his season here. You can read all about Joe here if you know German. Finally, J.D. Collins appears to be playing for ToPo in Finland. Here are his stats, good luck figuring those out. ToPo has the nickname of Boys of the Croft, but I can't find a dance team.

Friday, July 6, 2007

Owen Schmitt has one move

Lots of runninng backs take pride in their array of spins, jukes, and ankle-breakers. Owen Schmitt doesn't really mess around with any of that nonsense and it appears as though he never has. The shortest distance between two objects is a straight line. One usually with a defender laying on his back.

Pacman is confident he'll play again

And that makes one person in the world that has such confidence. A Tennessee court has set a date of January 3rd to revisit a plea bargain for an incident at a nightclub in a suburb of Nashville. During this incident Pacman allegedly got into an argument with a woman and refused to leave the club and when police arrived shouted obscenities at them. The District Attorney has asked to court to reinstate the misdemeanor charges and revoke a plea bargain after Jones was charged for felony coercion in Las Vegas. Jones is set to appear in court on July 23 for a preliminary hearing on the Las Vegas charges. Jones' attorney claims Jones is cooperating with Atlanta police in connection with the shooting outside the strip club there last month. In non-club news, Jones also faces felony charges of obstruction from a run away with an officer on patrol in Fayetteville, Georgia. This means that at the earliest, not even counting the charge in Fayetteville, Jones would be done with the legal process in January. Even if Jones is acquitted of all charges that would put the upcoming season behind us and it is unlikely that NFL commissioner Roger Goodall would reinstate Jones before all charges have been taken care of. So before Jones could ever play again he has three open cases to clear up. He also has forth he is a witness, in the least, to deal with. In the meantime Jones has to try to stay out of jail trouble while all of this is worked out if he ever wants to be reinstated. Therefore Jones must go at least 6 months without getting arrested to ever play again in the NFL and win at least 3 court cases or plea them out to an NFL acceptable end. He may need some will power or some blind luck. He should call this guy:

Anyway for those that haven't bought WVU football tickets and now have the cash you have a second chance this Monday. A limited number of season tickets will go on sale at 9 a.m. It is unlikely that single games will be plentiful for either Pitt or Louisville this year so if you don't grab season tickets you may be stuck with eBay for one of those games which will cost you as much or more than the season tickets. Especially if you buy from Chutta.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

et tu?

There are perfectly understandable reasons: Gansey is great friends with Patrick, in fact in this article Gansey is mentioned as almost a family member, and maybe Gansey really does want to coach or just needs some of that easy basketball camp cash, but it still hurts a little to see Mike Gansey at the UM basketball camp. BTW, everyone talked about Beilein moving every couple of years after he went the Michigan and why he would do that. Maybe he has a deal with the AP because he moves on every five years and then writers at the new place can contact the writers of the old place and re-write the same stories. Unconventional, check. Teaching the game, check. The Beilein ball, check. Never been an assistant, check. Three-pointers, check. This place is the place he really wants to be, check. He moves on, check.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Round of Reubens

Look around the edges for scantily dressed women.Sadly everything that begins must end except a circle and a Disney copyright but those are separate issues. Anyhow, the vacation is over and no I'm not posting any more pictures. This is the internet. Fill up the spank bank elsewhere you sickos. One final note of interest before the WVU news. I was watching t.v. late the last night in Florida and because it was the only time my blood alcohol level was low enough for me to remember anything from the trip I remembered seeing a funny commercial. The commercial was a lady and her sisters talking about a holistic approach to hair removal and how it changed their lives. I'm not familiar with all the hair removal products as I'm not down with the manscaping and just let the spatchy back hair go. The product: Nads. Because it's easier to let them make the joke I will just link to their complete line of "Nad's for Women" products.

It seems as though the hiring of Bob Huggins may be just what the doctor ordered for WVU basketball recruiting. One of the rumored reasons Beilein wanted out so bad was because he claimed he couldn't recruit here and it boiled over after it became apparent that neither Mayo or Patterson wanted to play for him at WVU. Huggins is working quick to keep the kids that can play in West Virginia. He has received a pledge from Sophomore to be Noah Cottrill who is ranked by someone that does such things as a top five player in the class of 2010. Cottrill had also been offered by Florida. Cottrill is the youngest player to ever commit to WVU and the first instater since Kevin Pittsnogle. Unfortunately, I'm sure the recruiting game will continue to veer younger in the coming years, but none will have as many tats as KP.

Speaking of the Beileins it seems as though Patrick is following Daddy to Michigan. Mickey Furfari of many papers including the Register-Herald reports that Patrick is joining the staff and entering UM grad school. Interesting note in the article on Mike Gansey as he was in Ann Arbor as well last week with Patrick. May be a future coaching career for Gansey as well.

Furfari writes about the football teams as well. He reports that Greg Isdaner is on the mend from shoulder surgery and is at about 95%.

“It was difficult sitting out spring practice and not being able to help the team grow,” he recalled. “But one thing I will say is I worked hard in the weight room. And I’m coming back stronger than I’ve ever been.”

USA Today has a college football preview on sale through July 30th. The coverboy is Steve Slaton and there is a two page article on Steve inside. WVU is also featured throughout as well. This one might be easier to find than most other previews and will only run you $5.

Finally, everyone have a happy 4th. I'm going to attempt to stay in detox for a few more days. While I've never been to found of the left-handed cigarettes maybe I should look into it. After all according to this site marijuana is the biggest crop in West Virginia.

Marijuana growers in the Mountain State collect an estimated $494 million per year, according to Jon Gettman, former director of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML). . .State Department of Agriculture statistics show the value of hay produced last year was $68 million and corn was $10.7 million.

Haystacks bitches.

Street & Smith Preview

See no, hear no, speak no speculative preseason predictions.
I have before me the recently released Street & Smith 67th Year College 2007 Football Official Yearbook. Well, I think that's the title, at least. Featured on the cover thereof, our very own Steve Slaton and Patrick White, sans face masks, which looks rather odd. But hey, it is a "Collector Edition".

Perusing said 'zine, I'm pleased to discover that Steve Slaton was included in S&S's first team pre-season all american list and Patrick White has been included on the second team all-americans.

Finally, the top 25, abbreviated here to Top 10 for brevity sake, reads USC, West F'n Virginia, Wisconsin, LSU, Michigan, Florida, Oklahoma, Texas, the Chokies and Louisville. Top 25 analysis with respect to WVU reads so:

With a quarterback like Patrick White and a running back like Steve Slaton, along with another favorable schedule (Ed: 21st toughest = favorable?), the Mountaineers look like a prime candidate to make a national-championship run.

With respect to Louisville at #10, we get:
Enter Steve Fraglerock Kragthrope from Tulsa, who inherits both a Heisman-candidate quarterback and a national-championship contender. Well,nation-championship-contending offense, anyway. The defense needs work.

Rutgers falls in at #19.

S&S has a very nice section on cheerleaders. Despite my well-trained eye (I wear a pirate's patch over the other), I was unable to spot any resemblance to desert footprint makers. (Although the hottie from ND sure is trying.)

The Big East break down goes WVU, LU, RU, USF, Cinci, Porn-stache, 'Cuse and, lastly, UConn.

Seein's how we have an intellectual property lawyer on staff, I won't plagerize too much more. Go buy it for yourself and read if you're big into completely baseless speculation.

On a side note, in my feeble attempt to find some WVU cheerleader T&A photo to add to this rather dry post, I was saddened to discover that even the all-powerful google was unable to find any decent photos. It may be my mission, a mission given by God himself, to photojournalistically (I can coin words, I'm on a mission from God), um, journal the WVU squad this year. Or at least the female members thereof. When we get press passes. Sorry God. So the girls above are from collegehumor.com and allegedly WVU girls. I think they'll do just fine for now.