Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Position Report: Running Backs

Ok, so as promised, some position reports. West Virginia is entering the 07 season anticipated to run the ball 123.53% of the time, so I’ll start with the running backs.

At fullback, of course, we have EDSBS’s favorite mancrush, Owen Schmitt. He’s listed at 6’3”-250. He’s big, he’s strong and he’s relatively fast. He has rushed 113 times for 731 yards, 9 touchdowns and several gnarled facemasks over the last two years. RR is alluding to the fact that Schmitt will also see some time at tight end this year. “My wife’s just been overwhelmed with her burgeoning ebay business. She needs more facemasks to keep up with demand, so we’re going to let Owen get a full head of steam coming off the line before engaging linebackers or the occasional poor soul of a DB.”


Starting tailback is easy and I shouldn’t even have to name him. He runs a 4.3 forty while stylishly sporting a fur coat. His wrist is healthy so the biggest question surrounding his upcoming season, according to Hoppy Kirchibel (sp?), is whether he will shave off his mini-fro. Unless he puts up LT @ TCU numbers, I doubt he wins the Heisman; I just don’t see WVU putting forth the requisite PR campaign, but at least expect him to be in New York.

The New Guy, i.e. Noel Devine, will get playing time, but we shall have to see how quickly he learns the system. As we’ve already noted, he is reportedly faster than Slaton and stronger than Schmitt. He also walks on water and has cured cancer. All while getting his J.D. during summer camp. The last time a freshman RB has been this drooled over, said freshman RB developed a relationship with his pre-catwoman tutor who also happened to be the starting RB’s girlfriend.

Prediction: Slaton wears beautiful fur coat on College Game Day finally enticing Herbstreit out from closet. Devine goes on to costar in a hospital based television drama where he is continually confronted with the conflict between being a good doctor and being a good person.

There some other guys who allegedly suit up to play, but for god’s sake, I hope we don’t see them actually carry the ball.


letsplaytummysticks said...

How can we have a Heisman campaign without Shelly Poe? We have no chance unless Slaton runs for 5,000 yards.

letsplaytummysticks said...

Jet Best should get carries due to his name alone and Collington and Davis have proved survisable at worst. And don't sleep on Kerns. If he doesn't get redshirted he could surprise some people. He is a Maryland boy.

Option Spread said...

Ah yes, Kerns, I should've mentioned him. I'm actually afraid he'll transfer becaues of our late acquiring of Devine. I think its safe to assume, despite comments to the contrary, that this will be Slaton's last year in Blue-Gold. If so, it sure would be nice to have Kerns and Devine both next year.

letsplaytummysticks said...

I feel like Kerns can be the next Q. A bigger guy that waits a couple of years and then carries a team for a season and a half.