Friday, August 31, 2007

15 more hours...

I'm about half an old man anymore. I just can't power through a hangover like I could in my mid-20s, so to make sure I'm in tip-top shape tomorrow morning, I am refraining from booze tonight. So like a kid on Christmas Eve, I'll be up all night intermittently reviewing the toy catalog in high anticipation of the coming day's events. Here's a few of the items I'm hoping to see under the tree tomorrow:

Hope to see everyone there tomorrow. Yes, even our buddy Jack.

If you can't make it to the game

TV coverage of the opening game for WVU will be on MASN for those in the DC/Baltimore area and with Direct TV on channel 626. ESPN Gameplan will also be available for those that don't have MASN for about $22. I would suggest looking into a sports bar before coughing that up though. At least you can get a couple of beers for and the game for the same price. The radio broadcast will be on channel 123 for those with Sirius. For those watching at home or listening to Cardi anywhere that want to be a step ahead of the radio voice of the Mountaineers his gamesheet is here. Some good information on the game sheet that he may not get to during the game such as Noel Devine is a "Youtube" legend. Bobby Bowden disapproves. He probably is good with the EBays too. And the Mountaineers that have finished in the top 10 of the Heisman voting are: Slaton 4th 2006; Zereoue 10th 1997 (his sophomore year, didn't make it as a junior); Harris 3rd 1989; Harris 5th 1988; and Hostetler 7th 1983.

Is LSU really that good?

Mississippi State's Michael Henig should have stayed home last night. I assure you that I am perfectly capable of tossing six picks in a game. I have four years of eligibility left... call me.

I maintained hopes of an upset early as the LSU offense sputtered in the face of MissSt's defense- which wasn't bad, but turnovers gave the Tigers such a short field- whatdyagondo?

Don't have much time to post this morning, gotta work- so I leave the analysis to the guys with the time for it. That said- the premier college football program kicks off tomorrow... Come find the Bastards at the tailgate action. Look for two wise asses and a guy in bright white shoes with a little hat... nice.

Brief Analysis from OS:

Southern Mississippi State needs more cowbell, fewer turnovers. LSU needs more offense if they hope to stay #2 during their stroll through the valley of death otherwise lovingly referred to as "conference play".

However, I am encouraged if WVU ends up playing LSU in a bowl game come January. As everyone knows, even if they are unwilling to admit to such, our perennial achilles heal has been our pass defense. I know we've made serious attempts this off season to improve the same, but we shall have to see. Fortunately, if we end up playing LSU, their pass offense was less than impressive last night.

Oh, and did anyone else catch that, during the first quarter, Craig James and Doug Flutie know a lot about "double teaming"? The innuendo of that comment was greatly magnified by the 30 seconds of uncomfortable silence by all three commentators.

Did Rece Davis do some kind of 25 hour straight hosting or something? I think they may have mentioned it once or twice.

And what was the deal with the audio in the Tulsa/L-Monroe game? Did ESPN lose satelite feed and have the announcers phone in their play-by-play?

In other news, Louisville scored a few touchdowns and Rutgers has a receiver. Unfortunately, the powers that be, i.e. my girlfriend who pays the cable bill, only gets me basic cable, so I didn't get to see any of those games.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

More reason to love the fall

The best show on television comes back.

You want some football news? Here is something that I didn't know. Only four players in WVU history have finished in the top ten for the Heisman. Do you know them?

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Some youtube goodness

First up: Allegedly, the new entrance video and music. Unfortunately, now with more Metallica:

Secondly: The first clip I've seen incorporating Devine into some WVU highlights:

Gee, only 38 posts in 2 days. Can you tell we're getting excited about the upcoming season?

Not just a look back... but a Round of Reubens! Yah!

I remember when Sportscenter and the WWL were cool. I remember those days, back in middle school when I would sit and watch the morning review of highlights while eating waffles or the hard palate destroying Captian Crunch. Olberman, Killborn, Patrick, Mees. It was great. They had pretty good commercials back then, too.

Fortunately, the guys over at the Unibrow have put together the top 10 Sportscenter commercials of all time available on youtube. Including the classic Y2K test:

Our BFF, EDSBS, has about the best write up ever regarding the Mountaineers' matchup this weekend: "Sensei Teaches Student A Noble Lesson Of Pride And Humility."
Student may land a field goal, reaching through the defense–well played!, says Sensei. He may intercept a poorly thrown ball, or perhaps stifle a rusty option game for a series or two. Most impressive! says Sensei. Or most likely, Western Michigan will find a hole in the ever-risk-friendly 3-3-5 and do what most teams do at one point to WVU: burn them for a long touchdown.
Feel joy, Student! You are about to learn!

And by learning, we mean that Sensei is about to whip your motherfucking ass.

Oh, and you are not prepared for the definitive, nutpummeling, teeth-shattering, fistfeast of an asswhipping you will get from Sensei.
Yet more proof of my EDSBS is one of the best written blogs out there.

Weekend Watching

The Big East is determined to get off to a fast start as a conference by playing what can be most favorably described as a soft schedule. However, believe it or not there are other games besides WVU and even the Big East out there this weekend. The following are some that may be of interest to those with a pulse.

On Saturday, at the same time WMU and WVU play for the right to call themselves the true West, Georgia Tech will travel to South Bend to play Notre Dame. Last year the Yellow Jackets had a 10-0 lead before falling to the Irish 14-10. Calvin Johnson and his 111 recieving yards are gone, but on the bright side so is Reggie Ball. Brady Quinn lept at the chance to play with the full-grown men of the NFL and also gone are Jeff Samardzija (baseball) and Darius Walker (Home Depot) who left early for the NFL. GT will be led by ACC leading rusher Tashard Choice, QB Taylor Bennett, and unrelated to Calvin Johnson receiver James Johnson. ND will be led slowly by Charlie Weiss. The coach will lead the team for a while, then stop when he is short of breath, then take a nap, then probably wish his nutsack wasn't so sweaty and stuck to his leg. ND has not named a quarterback and although everyone got their panties in a bunch over Jaimmy Clausen it is likely the starter will be Evan Sharpley with Demetrius Jones running the second string.

ABC will show Tennessee at California on Primetime this Saturday. California returns Nathan Longshore at quarterback and DeSean Jackson, Robert Jordan and Lavelle Hawkins at WR and Justin Forsett returning at running back. The Golden Bears will be fast and experienced at the skill positions making life tough on the Vols. In fact everyone and their mother has picked Cal. Just like last year. When the Vols proceeded to smack the Bears around for three quarters before calling off the dogs in a 35-18 win. Tennessee gained 514 yards and averaged 8.4 yards per play in that game while rushing for 216. Erik Ainge threw for 281 yards and 4 tds in only 17 attempts. Ainge is back, but is breaking in new receivers as the starters have a combined 19 catches to start the year. Should Tennessee lose I expect Losers with socks to respond with a hearty, "WVU sucks."

On Monday FSU goes to Clemson. Bowden Bowden Bowden Bowden. Of interest is the Seminole offense with Jeffy gone from the pressbox. Jimbo and Rick Trickett should attempt to get the running game off of life support. Clemson has a one-two punch of James Davis and C.J. Spiller at running back, but the unproven Cullen Harper at quarterback. If the game goes too late Bobby will take a nappy.

The rest of the conference

One more note about the opening game this Saturday. It appears as though the mancrush is debilitating. JT has already been suspended indefinitely. Now last year's mancrush, Quinton Andrews, is out for week one due to team rules violations. We must now harness these powers for good. So the next mancrush will probably be Brian Brohm. Hope he likes a full body cast.

It's opening week around the country and the Big East is looking to get off to a fast start as a conference by hosting a wide ranging variety of teams you've never seen play before. WVU is the only Big East team facing a team to play in a bowl from last year. Overall, the opening week slate is as easy as some girl that is really is to make sex with.

On Thursday night Rutgers will kick off the season by hosting MAC-alicious Buffalo. Buffalo is coming off of a rousing 2-10 schedule including backing out of a game versus WVU to get slapped 38-7 by Auburn. The Buffalo Bulls, they should really be the Buffalo Buffaloes, lost to Wisconsin, BC, and Auburn last year by a combined score of 114-10.

Also on Thursday, Louisville will take on the Murray State Racers. Murray State Raced their way to a 1-10 record last year. Their biggest game was a hard fought 47-7 loss at Missouri.

Thursday is alright for fighting for Cincinnati as well. The Bearcats will welcome OVC stalwart Southeast Missouri State. The OVC is a conference and not the channel that sells NFL blankets after the Monday Night game. The Redhawks were 4-7 last year with some big wins over Austin Peay, Missouri-Rolla, Samford, and the aforementioned Murray State. They gave Arkansas all the could handle in a 63-7 loss.

On Friday Syracuse will host NorthernSouthernWesternEastern Washington. Oh, there isn't a direction on that one. The Huskies went 5-7 last year with wins over UCLA and Arizona. This could be a winnable game for the Orange, but Washington won't get blown out. The Huskies lost to USC and Cal by a combined 13 points last year. Washington will be moving on without three year starter Isiah Stanback and leading receiver Sonny Shackelford.

On Saturday Pitt will take on Eastern Michigan and plenty of good seats are still available. The Eagles soared to a 1-11 record last year with the biggest game being Michigan State. Sparty clipped the Eagles at the end 52-20.

In what could be a matchup of Final Four teams UConn will head to Cameron Indoor to play Duke on Saturday. I didn't even know that basketball had started.

Finally, South Florida steps into the burning spotlight of a Saturday night game to face Elon. I couldn't find the game on primetime listings yet, but it will be. The Elon Phoenix are a I-AA team playing in the Southern Conference. Last year the Phoenix rose to a 5-6 record and played no D-I teams. Gameday is in route.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

RR's Tuesday Press Conference

Yes, there will be punch and pie.

Its about 20 minutes long, here are some notes:

Darius Reynard has had a great camp and is in the "best shape of his life".

Slaton's backup for now is primarily Owen Schmitt, but we will see Jock Sanders and Noel Devine depending upon the situation and play. RR also noted that Sanders and Devine know the offense well enough at this point to be ready to play.

Dorrell Jalloh is emerging as the #2 WR.

Wes Lyons, our giant of a receiver, has missed most of camp. Yesterday (Monday) was the first day he has practiced in weeks and at this point is not really ready to contribute. When asked, RR didn't deny the potential that Lyons could be redshirted.

Team emerged from camp really healthy. The worst injury at this point is that MLB Bobby Hathaway has a broken hand, but will still be able to play.

RR doesn't like the kickoff rule change. Cites concerns for player safety.

In addition to Sanders and Devine, another true freshman, Pat Lazear will see playing time Saturday.

WMU - Early test for the new secondary?

As tummysticks pointed out earlier (And most of this opening paragraph is a repeat of what he has already said. Sorry.), Tim Hiller will be the starting signal caller for the Broncos on Saturday. Hiller was outstanding during his freshman season in 2005 earning MAC Freshman of the Year honors despite prematurely ending the season with an ACL tear. He completed 64.9% of his passes for 1,334 yards and 20 TDs vs. only 3 interceptions. He sat out last season rehabbing that knee. Now assumedly healthy, Hiller has rewon the starting QB position for the Broncos.

I listened to WMU's play-by-play guy get interviewed on the Statewide Sportsline earlier this evening. According to him, WMU plays a single back west coast style offense and most pass patterns tend to be 3 step timing routes underneath or to the outside. If our DBs approach this game like the majority of games last season, vis-a-vis 10 yard buffers, Hiller may pass all over us resulting in an unwanted shoot out with a team hungry for an upset. Take a look at some nice passing by Hiller during his freshman season vs. CMU:

However, it is important to remember that during that well played Freshman season, Hiller was fortunate enough to have two future NFL-ers (Greg Jennings and Tony Scheffler) at receiver. This year, they might not be future NFLers, but WMU will have two receivers returning from last year: 6'1", 187 lb. Herb Martin for whom I could not find stats and 6'2", 223 lb. Jamarko Simmons who caught 61 passes for 668 yards and 2 TDs last season.

WMU also has a huge offensive line, as the top 7 average 6'4" and 314 lbs.

While I expect WVU to walk away with a win, I look forward to this early season test of a hopefully revamped secondary. I hope RR takes this opportunity to test the secondary and approaches coverages a little more aggressively. If the DBs struggle Saturday or if RR continues to lack the confidence in our secondary to play tighter coverage, I may get a little worried about that big match up coming later in the season.

And now, I'll let tummysticks rip apart my analysis in the comments.

Game Week--Bronco notes

WMU is not shy about their desire to win this Saturday.

"Like coach (Bill) Cubit said, we've got to do something to shock the world this year,'' sophomore cornerback E.J. Biggers added. That Biggers and Co. are publicly following their coach's expectations on this is a bit surprising. Coaches often pump their teams full of bravado, but rarely do they let their programs take that swagger to the media -- unless, of course, they, too, have hopes of pulling off something unexpected. Or, as Cubit said, taking their best shot at doing so.
And it's not only WVU they want a piece of.
``I'll play the first-ranked team, second-ranked team, third-ranked team in the nation the first three games of the season,'' Simmons said. ``I wouldn't want it any other way. Because I know this team ... we deserve it, we deserve it. We deserve to be able to get out here on the national scene and show everybody what we have.''
After that Simmons exclaimed that he wanted to play the Indianapolis Colts, the the NFC Pro-Bowl Team, then a team made up entirely of Aliens and Predators. The Aliens would be on defense of course because they have little dexterity for a passing game.

WMU has named sophomore Tim Hiller to start the season instead of senior Thomas Peregrin. Hiller, best known before this as a guy that was lucky that first "l" wasn't a "t", was a redshirt last season. He did play in 7 games in 2005 and started in 5 of those. He completed 65% of his passes for 1,334 yards and 20 touchdowns.

The line on this game is currently 23 according to this guy who has WMU covering. Winning by more than three touchdowns versus a team that should be in a bowl is a tough cover. Maybe we can get Pinhead to block a punt.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Game Week--WMU Preview

The Western Michigan University Broncos head into Morgantown to take a beating for a nice payday on the Mountaineers this Saturday at 3:30. The game time means I get to booze before the game without drinking at 8 in the morning so that is nice. WMU is coming off a bowl appearance and have a few sites picking them to win the MAC this season. The Broncos will ride into town under the helm of head coach Bill Cubit. Bill has been the head of WMU since 2005. WMU had not had a winning season in 5 years before Cubit became the head coach. Should WMU have a good season his name will be popping up for BCS conference jobs.

Last season WMU averaged 22.9 points per game and 315.5 yards. The offense was mainly geared for the run with an average of 136.9 yards per game rushing and only 178.6 yards passing. On defense the Broncos held teams to 19.3 points per game. WMU gave up 269.4 yards per game and was stingy against the run, allowing only 72 ypg rushing (6th in the nation) and 197.5 passing. The defense recorded 42 sacks and picked off 22 passes which led the nation.

Lost from last year's squad will be quarterback Ryan Cubit (son of the head coach) who threw for about 2,000 yards and Ameer Ismail who was the MAC Defensive Player of the Year. Returning for WMU is quarterback Thomas Peregrin who threw for around 200 yards in limited duty last year. The ground game should still be the strong point with the two leading rushers returning. Mark Bonds is a 220 pound senior running back who rushed for over 1000 yards last year. Sophomore Brandon West also returns after rushing for over 600 yards. The leading receiver from last year, Jamarko Simmons, also returns. Last season Jamarko had 61 catches for almost 668 years. Most importantly, however, WMU brings back end Branden Ledbetter who had 32 catches and the coolest name on the team. Make me fries.

Round of Reubens

High school football kicked off in a few states last week with many more starting this weekend. has a list of the current WVU commits and how they fared in their opening game. Of note, Jahleel Addae (brother of former WVU wrecking ball to himself and others Jahmile) had only 9 carries, but 151 yards and two touchdowns on his first two touches in only one half of duty as his team won by 47. There is no report on his defense so I don't know if he torpedoed himself through the air for a flying shoulder block and then had to be helped off the field only to come back a play later. Maybe it runs in the family.

In way too early news, Rivals is counting down the top 64 basketball teams in the country and WVU checks in at 49. And speaking of basketball, WVU will play Auburn in the Pizza Hut Big East/SEC Invitational in Birmingham next season on December 3rd. The Invitational is an answer to the Big 10/ACC Challenge and the always entertaining Mid-American, Mid Continent, Mid-Eastern Athletic conferences trifecta challenge for who is most Mid.

The Charleston Gazette has the WVU two deep for opening week. The biggest news on the list is that some guy named Slaton is going to start at running back and Patrick White is going to be the qb. I hope they aren't horrible. True Freshmen Hogan, Sanders, Devine, and Will Johnson have all made the two deep at WR. Interestingly, both Sowers and Lyons did not. The guess here is that the camp injuries have put them behind and they will be playing catch-up all season long. Speaking of receivers, the Gazette also has a good article about the run v. pass statistics for WVU. WVU ran the ball 2.5 times more than they passed last year.

“You’ve got to have options. Everybody says we’re one dimensional, but we’re really not,’’ Rodriguez said. “When you have two guys who rush for a thousand yards [Slaton and White last year], you’re at least two-dimensional. When you’ve got a fullback [Schmitt, who filled in for Slaton and gained 109 yards in last year’s Gator Bowl], you’re at least three-dimensional. And I think Darius Reynaud is one of the most explosive players in our league, as well.’’

If you count everyone on the field WVU could be 11-dimensional this year.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Lankster and Thomas suspended

Ellis Lankster and J.T. Thomas will miss at least two games for WVU this season if the charges before them are dropped. WVU has suspended the two indefinitely until they are finished with the legal process.

In a statement, West Virginia said the players were suspended indefinitely pending the conclusion of the legal process. They face a Sept. 10 preliminary hearing in Monongalia County Magistrate Court.
The September 10th date is after the Western Michigan and Marshall games and only three days before the Maryland game. The only chance for these two to play in any early games is for the charges to be dropped against them. And from this article in the Daily Mail today it looks very unlikely for the charges to be dropped as the players were identified by the residents of the house at the scene of the arrest. How could the charges be dropped? At this point they can only be dropped by the State. However, newspapers like the Daily Mail and the DA should be wary of publishing the names of the residents that called the police. It's not like idiots will start calling them and threatening them to drop the charges (which they can't). That never happens.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007


I am calling shenanigans on the newest Princeton Review which placed WVU as the number 1 party school. I am not doing this based upon WVU not being a top party school, but of course I haven't partied at every school in the US to compare with WVU as I only attended about 25% in getting my different degrees. What I am calling shenanigans on is that the review must be compromised. I received an email with all of the "top" listings and these two struck me:

Most Liberal Students--Warren Wilson College (Asheville NC)
Most Conservative Students--Thomas Aquinas College (Santa Paula CA)

Really? The most liberal students in the United States are in North Carolina? I lived in NC for three years and it was one of my favorite places I've ever been, but at no time did I ever look around and think, "Damn there are a lot of liberals running around here voting for Sen. Helms." I also have a hard time thinking the most conservative school is in California and not somewhere in the Bible belt. I don't even think they have a Bible in Cali unless it is to prop open the fence for immigrants or smash a fetus.

Lego Envy

The football season is nearly upon us and Ron Mexico is going to jail, but this post is about Legos.

When I was a kid, Legos came in only a few colors and they just sat there, lifeless. For interactive entertainment, I had an Atari. For computer geekiness, I resorted to an ADAM:

Kids today? Well, just take a look:

A few pics from Mountaineers Fan Day...

Diet Dew is for the ladies.

Monday, August 20, 2007

WVU ranked #1 in most recent poll.

Well, the reviews are out and while our beloved law school may continue to slip in the rankings and the B-school average starting salary may be a 1/3 of its competitors, WVU does do two things well. According to the most recent Princeton review, WVU ranks #1 in Party schools and, relatedly, #1 where students rarely study.

I attended WVU for three years and I've got to admit, I really don't know where the Princeton Review got their data. I (and the other two Bastards) spent every evening locked in the library earnestly studying to become future positive contributors to society. Not once did we ever lock ourselves in Mutts until 6 a.m. or chug 8 red bull and vodka's at the Back Door within 60 minutes prior to driving home to two very pissed off significant others. And Free Golden Tee at Mulligans McClafferty's? Nope, never heard of it. We also made it a point to attend every class stone sober and prepared, especially when the review committee was there. No drunken wrestling in Constitutional Law - that's unheard of! Once though, we heard a rumor of some debauchery at Bent Willy's, but the name of that place is so atrocious, we decided against going. 'Tis a silly place anyway.

WVU was also honored as (Registration required):

#5 best college library - Obviously for the scenery on the sidewalk in front of the library.

#8 best student newspaper - I wouldn't know. I never read it during class.

#4 students pack the stadim - Now, if we could just get those kiddies to stick around until the fourth quarter.

#6 lots of beers - See above.

#7 lots of hard liquor - No Jack Daniels anywhere in Morgantown. Write that down.

and #11 Reefer Madness - whatever the hell that is.

As a footnote to the reviews, MSN included the following:

Students who considered West Virginia University also looked at Penn State-University Park, University of Pittsburgh-Pittsburgh Campus, and Virginia Tech [but were fearful of having their brains eaten, fearful of the 1970's and fearful of strange red growths from people's necks, respectively].
Unfortuately for the students, I think the forecast for 2" diameter hail will move most of tonight's anticipated debauchery indoors.


Vick should keep his butt-hole tight

Someone pour out some of their 40 at Michael Vick Hall in the VT football complex (it has a portrait AND a Michael Vick flag) as Michael Vick pled guilty to the dogfighting charges this afternoon and should be in jail by the end of the week if the judge signs off on the plea deal. No word on the amount of jail time as of yet, but it is rumored to be around a year in the grey bar hotel. As this closes the federal chapter of the legal proceedings the state chapter has finally been reopened by Attorney General Gerald Poindexter with a grand jury to convene on September 25th for prosecution of Vick and his associates for breaking Virginia laws. Poindexter's tune has changed from a guy that didn't see any evidence and thought the feds shouldn't be involved.

What is foreign to me is the federal government getting into a dogfighting case. I know it's been done, but what's driving this? Is it this boy's celebrity? Would they have done this if it wasn't Michael Vick?

Which is a far cry from his outlook now. "The execution of these animals —- and the manner in which they were executed —- is startlingly offensive and demanding of prosecution."

Maybe these two can share a room with a camel for a few days. And even if that doesn't happen the final straw that broke the camel's back may have finally hit for Vick this weekend. After a final weekend of kicking babies and slamming dogs before heading off, teary-eyed to jail Vick was pulled over and cited for not wearing his seat belt. $50 fine man, $50. Think about that everyone that had a Michael Vick jersey.

It fell off of the truck

Earlier I stated the mancrush developing on J.T. Thomas here for the Bastards. J.T. must be trying to nurture that crush by trying to be a badboy. Maybe he will get some tattoos or start smoking behind the old grocery store. Or he could join Ellis Lankster in getting arrested. Both Thomas and Lankster (both potential starters) were arrested on Saturday night after a computer was reported stolen and then found in Lankster's car. Thomas claims that the two are innocent:

Thomas was also in the car at the time and claims to have bought the computer second-hand.

So either the two stole a computer after the big summer scrimmage Saturday, had someone steal a computer for them and then "bought" it for like $50 Saturday night, or were at a party or driving around and someone stopped them and asked if they would like to purchase a computer at a discount. In the third scenario I'd expect the guy to be wearing a mask around his eyes as they shifted around nervously, a black and white striped shirt, and twirling his mustache while talking.

UPDATE: According to the Daily Mail the charges were transporting and receiving stolen property which makes number 2 the scenario the police believe.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Dog Days

It gets hot in August and some people like to go to the public pool and float around in other people's urine. If that is not for you than just be glad you don't live in Tokyo where the wave pool below is roughly 50% people, 25% inflatable devices (including boobs), 15% urine, 8% water, and 2% other. HT to bestweekever.

Want some football news? Well the team is going to have a new entrance this season, but it is being kept under wraps for now.

In the past it was enough simply to run onto the field to “Let’s bring on the Mountaineers.’’ With Rodriguez’s arrival in 2001, however, the entrance has been jazzed up and tweaked a bit every year. The new video board installed a few years ago allowed the entrance to become a real production.

I have worked hard to find out the entrance and can say this. It may involve zip-lines, helicopters, sharks, a laser show, fireworks, and a pot of chili.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

This Just In: WVU stadium crew has bad taste in music.

Shocking, I know. But it is apparently true. To simulate the distractions of game day, poorly chosen music is blared over the audio system at Mountaineer field. However:

I don’t think anybody likes the music,’’ said junior kicker and resident jovial malcontent Pat McAfee. “Let’s just be honest: The music is terrible out there. Let’s just say it. It’s bad and anybody who’s been out there knows it’s bad.’’
In addition to his criticism of the music, in further cementing of his label as "resident jovial malconent", McAfee has also encased Owen Schmitt's face mask in jello and last year, posted coach Rick Trickett's resume online. The latter didn't work out quite so hillariously. But Vaughn Rivers agrees with his musical assessment:
“I’m sure it’s good for them,’’ cornerback Vaughn Rivers said, referring to the coaches. “But most of us are like, ‘What is this?’"

However, PW must like it, as he apparently dances along (while meowing). PW does strike me as the kind of guy who can have a good time no matter what. Broken ribs and down by 7? Good times. Smashing Pitt (again)? Good times. Hotel room full of dead hookers? Good times.

The musical list includes cutting edge artists like Elvis and Shirley Lewis, but also features "1960s and ’70s rock and roll. There’s the occasional upbeat country song." Upbeat country song?

Fortunately, Good One Patrick is on the case and demonstrates his remarkable musical knowledge, in the parlance of our times: "If it’s a good day, a little hippity hop..." Hip... hip hop... hip hop anonymous?

The only explanation for this musical faux pas is that the sound crew must be saving the great tunes for the season. Great tunes such as:

Wandling Hands

Wandling hands are hands so soft that words like velvety or buttery sound harsh in comparison. They are made of angel tears. Wandling hands are often found on a princess that has never had to work and spent years keeping her hands moisturized with different lotions. However, they can be found on men as well. But I don't think Owen Schmitt is one of them despite Rich Rodriguez telling Mickey Furfari:

“The thing I like about Owen is that he understands the physical nature of being the lead blocker. And, at the same time, he’s also got some running back skills. He also has some natural skills as far as being able to cut, and he’s got soft hands. He loves football and has the passion to play on a high level."

Schmitt will work as a fullback, tailback, tight end, and also know as a slot receiver. The best guess as to his routes as a slot receiver is a fly pattern because Owen doesn't run some sort of nancy ass curl. Owen may also play tuba in the band just because he can.

And he'd probably do it well since he seems to be good at everything else. Schmitt was named to's preseason All-American team as a fullback. Owen is petitioning ESPN to also be named at tailback, tight-end, slot receiver, and organ grinder (grinder of actual organs not the guy with the monkey).

There are other running backs at WVU as well. One of them is a guy named Steve Slaton. You may not have heard of him, but Sports Illustrated has. Steve is on the cover for the second straight year. Sports Illustrated has decided to put out regional covers for their preseason issue again this season and WVU/Slaton have been on the cover both years. The other teams to make the cover were Arkansas, USC, Michigan, and Oklahoma. So if your team isn't blue and gold or primarily red you were screwed. Sorry Oregon.

Finally, there are some freshmen running backs that may get some run this year. Both Jock Sanders and Noel Devine have impressed the coaches thus far with their names and abilities. Another freshman name that keeps popping up in conferences is Brandon Hogan. Look for those three to see some action this year on offense or kick returns. Hopefully they all have soft, but not wandling, hands.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Before The Office returns

OS sent me this link this afternoon. He should have just posted it for everybody. Ten scenes from The Office. Any clip with Dwight in it is pure gold.

And from the comments below thanks to Chutta it appears as though Huntington really is a dump.

It's tough times for trash haulers in West Virginia's second-largest city, which is down to three working garbage trucks.

Eight of Huntington's 11 garbage trucks are out of service, along with two flatbed trucks used to pick up loose trash in alleys, said Public Works Director Chuck Cornett.

In order to get the trash reduced Marshall fans are being asked to kill themselves. It's for the good of humanity.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Round of Reubens

Injury and transfer addition:

Jeremy Bruce has bounced between runningback and receiver over the last two years and in and out of the doghouse. With Noel Devine and Jock Sanders impressing everyone in Morgantown the writing may have been on the wall for Bruce. He has decided to bounce on to Akron.

The same article also details Marc Magro's continued fight with mono as he has been sent home for a few days to recover. If you've ever been to a home game the last few years you know that Marc is tobacco free so he probably didn't get mono from a cigar. Speaking of mono, Max Anderson (backup fullback with the 1980's neckroll) has been behind in camp due to a bout of mono. And even though mono is contagious, Rodriguez isn't worried about the "kissing disease" knocking out the entire team.

“Our trainers have said it can’t just be sweat on sweat. It has to be more than that,’’ Rodriguez said. “I don’t think that’s going to happen, guys kissing each other or anything like that.’’

Pitt has more bad news as their leading returning receiver has torn his ACL and is shut down for the year. The person most likely to step up:
That role could go to redshirt sophomore Cedric McGee (6 feet
1, 210 pounds). McGee is an excellent blocker and also has improved greatly his consistency.

I'm assuming he is 210 pounds, but if he is 1,210 pounds then watch out.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Big money

WVU fans that don't have tickets for the Louisville game and plan to go might want to start selling blood and/or sperm now. WVU is part of 2 of the top 20 most expensive tickets for the upcoming season. The tickets to go to New Jersey and spend the day trying to navigate turnabouts is going to cost you $495 on average. The most expensive home game is Louisville with the average price of $379 per ticket. In case you were wondering, the top game of the year is Penn State at Notre Dame at an average of a whopping $1100 per ticket. In fact people must be very excited to see Jimmy Clausen hold a clipboard because Notre Dame is in 4 of the top 5 most expensive tickets. If only they were on t.v. every week so people could see them.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Keep it going

The WVU-Maryland series is taking a two year hiatus after this season and the future of the series seems to be in doubt as well. As a Maryland native that went to WVU, I hope the series is rekindled as it is my favorite game of the year. I can expect a phone call from everyone I know in the week leading up to the game and after the game either I turn my phone off or everyone else does for the rest of the day. Another reason to keep the series going is the easy travel for both groups of fans. The game is almost always a sell-out due to the proximity of the two schools and this year will be no different. UMD has announced the September 13th game as a sell-out. Hopefully the athletic departments from both schools will get together and continue the series after the hiatus as this game has been a measuring stick game for the last decade with the winner usually going on to have a strong season.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Rasheed Marshall cut

The Pittsburgh Steelers wasted little time in the Rasheed Marshall as a slash expiment. They have cut the former WVU quarterback. Mike Lorello is still on the Steelers' roster. If they know what is good for the team they'll keep him there. If they want the girls to pay attention to them for once, they'll cut Mike.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Weekly Panther Update

In what is becoming somewhat of an tradition here for the Bastards we will again let everyone know about a Pitt Panther not playing football. 5-star recruit Pat Bostick has left the Panthers for personal reasons.

The 6-3, 220-pound Bostick passed for 2,172 yards and 20 touchdowns last season after having 2,810 yards and 34 touchdowns as a junior. Recruiting services and rated him as the No. 2 player in the state. He was ranked as one of the nation's top 50 players by Super Prep magazine.

The reasons according to Pittsburgh radio host and former WCW commentator Mark Madden is anxiety attacks and if you can't trust a wrestling commentator to shoot you straight who can you trust? ESPN radio in Morgantown reported that the reason was he and his family not happy with the direction of the program which seems unlikely since he was on campus for the last 4 months.

Regardless of the reasons, of which we may never really know, he and 4-star running back LeSean McCoy were supposed to be Pittsburghs answer to White and Slaton in the upcoming years. In fact, McCoy is regarded so highly that year's flavor of the month, Dorin Dickerson is moving to linebacker for the first time in his career. Bostick may return soon, but the loss of him and Elijah Fields within a week has to be unsettling to the Wannstache.

Ah, Michael Vick bashing and video games

From the Phat Phree via Gorilla Mask, a letter to EA Sports from the Guy who is only good at Madden when he plays as Michael Vick. Here's some quality excerpts:

Hey there, EA Sports. As you have probably heard, Michael Vick has had some recent problems with dog killing. While dog killing is definitely uncool, I would hope that you guys aren't listening to all of this jibber-jabber about "federal indictments" and "season-long suspensions." It would be a tragedy of global proportions if you decided to keep the dog-killing lefty out of your latest installment of Madden NFL Football.

You have to understand, this is the first time that Vick has been federally indicted for dog slaying. You can check his record all the way back to grade school and find no other federal indictments. Of course, you can be picky and bring up the highly public allegations against him for kicking it as Ron Mexico and beating chicks down with his herpes stick, or his arrest for trying to carry a secret weed-stashing water bottle through airport security.

So the real question that needs to be answered is if the NFL believes that Vick's behavior reflects negatively on the league. I'm sorry, EA Sports, but this is not your question to answer. So please, turn a deaf ear to any news that comes out about Ron Mexico throwing dogs off of his roof and spreading herpes.
So nice.

Some college humor

Not much news as camp has opened. Some players are going to be good. Freshmen are running around. Some guys are sore and some will be hurt. But here are some clips from College Humor since BSR hasn't been posting pictures from there recently.

First, Kevin Smith may make the same type of movie over and over, but you probably shouldn't try to slam him while he has the microphone and you don't.

Second, a movie from a video game that almost everyone from my generation has played while pretending to take notes in class.

And finally the best use for a slip and slide ever. Unless you break your neck.

Monday, August 6, 2007

There is only one man

who could play that fast (see below). . . Skwisgar Skwigelf. In case you've never seen Metalocalypse on Adult Swim here is a clip of Deathklok. I hope you like coffee because you'll scream for your cream.

In non-insane cartoon, but still insane news. CMT has a new reality program. I have never watched CMT before as I would rather give myself a vasectomy than listen to country music, but I might watch this. The show takes nine former "stars" and teaches them to ride a bull.

The nine courageous guys who are stepping up to take on the challenge are musician Vanilla Ice, actor Stephen Baldwin, actor/musician Leif Garrett, actor Dan "Nitro" Clark, actor Francesco Quinn, former football star "Rocket" Ismail, Ultimate Fighter Josh Haynes, X-Games motorcycle legend "Cowboy" Kenny Bartram and Survivor reality star Jon "Jonny Fairplay" Dalton.

Holy crap, Rocket Ismail. Were Desmond Howard and Quadry already busy? Finally, if you see this picture and think it's real than you are insane.


Yeah. Jesus.

Dan Mozes goes down

Rimington Award winner and free agent pick-up by the NY Jets Dan Mozes had his rookie year end in his first scrimmage on Friday. Mozes tore his ACL and will undergo season ending surgery in three weeks.

In other former Mountaineer news Rasheed Marshall made little impact in the first Steelers preseason game. He did have a ball launched over his head on a crossing route. Meanwhile, Mike Lorrello continues to try to make the squad on defense/special teams as well, but with no states from yesterday.

Other former Mountaineer news now includes Devan Bawinkel. The guard has left the basketball team to transfer. Bawinkle was listed at 6 foot 5 inches and a generous 185 pounds and may have had trouble acclimating to the physical style of basketball Huggins prefers.

Bawinkel was not lightly recruited. And, now, he's being recruited again. Eastern Michigan, Richmond, Illinois-Chicago and Eastern Kentucky -- coached by former Beilein assistant Jeff Neubauer -- are possible Division I destinations, as is Highland (Kan.) Junior College.

It is likely Bawinkle will take a hard look at Neubauer as he is familar with the style of play and Neubauer plays a less weight room oriented system. Which is good for Devan as he has yet to be able to ask anyone if they want two tickets to the gun show.

In other former Mountaineer basketball news it appears as though Kevin Pittsnogle has taken his tatoos to France. KP signed with the Cholet team in France. I just he doesn't order an expensive meal and find a plate with a bunch of snails on it. Don't even look at it.

The latest news on Mike Gansey is here and here. It appears as though he still has an UPHILL BATTLE to make the NBA.

Friday, August 3, 2007

Later rounds of Rocky 4 recreated in real life...

Except instead of 7' tall Drago, its 4 foot, 100 pound asian dudes. They call it kick boxing, but to me, "kick" implies the use of kicks, of which there are few, and "boxing" implies the use of defense and strategy, of which there is little. Instead, its 4 minutes of neck snapping haymakers. Good things. Oh, except the asian bag pipe music. My ears hate me.

I know, its nothing about the upcoming football season. Its Friday. I'm tired as hell. And posting youtube clips is easy.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Hopefully this Blog Recommendation Goes Better than the Last

Sunday Morning Quarterback is doing a Big East Week. Its rather verbose, which means, in the parlance of our times, lots of words. As of today, posts include:

The History of the Big East featuring some video highlights of the WVU-'Cuse let's be more than friends stint of the late 80's and, unfortunately, a clip of PETA's favorite dope smoker rising to early prominence.

An indepth review of the Rutgers and whether its shortcomings at QB could spell doom to the pesky new upstart.

Exclusive quotes from legendary film maker Ingmar Bergman pointificating upon the travesty of Pornstache and the oddity of the spread option.

If, for example, [Brian Brohm] needs a certain number of yards for a first down, then he calls the simplest slant route to get the ball an inch past the damned stricks That is the attitude of an aesthete. He took great care over a single pass, but doesn't understand that a game is a rhythmic stream of plays, images, momentum, a living, moving process; for him, on the contrary, it was such a pass, then another pass, then yet another.

I'm presuming that they'll eventually put up a post about WVU. At which time, I'll be sure to notify AngryEER.

Some dummies

The best aspect of West Virginia newspapers is the ability to entertain the reader with quotes that make absolutely no sense. Here are a couple of examples, the first from the Charleston Gazette's opinion page:

Being one of the biggest Florida State fans in the state of West Virginia, I really enjoy reading about Bobby Bowden and the Seminoles in the Gazette. Where I don’t care at all about the West Virginia Mountaineers, it is much better than reading about the arrogant, pompous Rich Rodriguez in the paper every day.
OK, I'm following him in the first sentence. He likes Bobby. Now the second sentence gets a little hairy. "Where I don't care at all about" sounds like something Wolf would put in the comments at 5 in the morning. Is that a southern WV colloquialism for anything in English? At face value it would seem to indicate that there is a geographic place at which this person doesn't care for WVU and, if we take the second part of the sentence, that place is better than reading about Rodriguez everyday. My only guess is Biscuit World.

In other stupid news the Gazette's Marshall writing monkey Doug Smock wanted to talk up some of the Marshall players including left tackle John Inman. Inman will be taking on the best pass rushers on opposing teams, including Calais Campbell. Campbell is a pre-season All-American at Miami. How is Inman getting ready?

“I’ve been reading a bunch of film on the guy,” said Inman, a 6-foot-5, 302-pound senior from Knoxville, Tenn. “He’s a great defensive lineman, what can I say? He’s a total player — he’s big, fast, strong, plays the run as well as the pass. I’ve got to get in there this summer and get the best work I can out of [Albert] McClellan.”
And they say that kids today don't read enough. Just start counting films and I've probably read like 10 books this week. I might even "read" one of those Harry Potter films eventually.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

What if

Anyone who is still a Pirates fan should read this article purposing that the Pittsburgh Pirates are intentionally losing to maximize profits and therefore the trade for Matt Morris make sense. At least it makes sense in a theory somewhere as it is hard to believe any other sane person could make a compelling argument for that trade. The theory is that you sign low end players in the draft, they are older than the high end players, and perform better in the minors. Therefore, your minor league teams appear to be good. However, none of the players there are big league talent so they never move while the high end players are moving up to the bigs. Additionally, you sign a few no-talent veterans to artificially increase payroll.

Why would someone do this? The theory goes that you keep expectations down so that media coverage is low and no one expects you to make deals that actually help the team thereby increasing payroll. One good year would require some longterm deals and some key veterans in the upcoming season.

I don't agree with this because it would give the Pirate management way too much credit. Here is my theory. McClatchy and the Nuttings love revenue sharing and want to maximize it. To do this they pay nothing to scouting and development. Why draft college pitchers every year? Because they are easy to sign. Someone sign with Boras as their agent, 0% chance the Pirates draft him. Littlefield is not an evil genius, he is simply a cheap GM with no clue. The Pirate owners may be evil geniuses, but more likely they are cheap and they are not baseball people and won't pay to hire anyone with a clue.

Pitt week not so good afterall

Not everything is coming up roses for Pitt this week as DB, and potential difference maker on defense, Elijah Fields has been suspended for the season.

"Although we have suspended Elijah for the season, he will remain part of our program and practice," Pitt coach Dave Wannstedt said. "We will continue to demand that he work hard on the field and in the classroom so that he can be an important part of our program's future."

No reason was given for the suspension although the Post-Gazette mentions some off the field issues which could be anything, but I'd bet drugs, alcohol, or a she-devil that stole his soul.

Meanwhile, despite having Shawn Chacon and Damarso Marte at the peak of their respective values with Chacon going fee agent next year and not coming back to Pittsburgh; the Pirates failed to make any significant trades in what was described as an unbelievable seller's market. There were rumors that Solomen Torres was also shopped and Jack Wilson would be gone in a salary dump. Instead the Pirates traded for Matt Morris who is owed $14.5 million over the next two years. Wilson will still be gone as soon as the Tigers agree to take the contract. So congratulations Pirates management for looking at the .404 winning percentage and deciding to stand pat. That takes a lot of guts or whatever Elijah Fields was smoking.