Our Hodge-Podge Page

This post is just to comment on the eclectic nature of the beast that is Pinfall Marks. As you scroll down this page, you are taken on this journey- from a dog shitting to a sweet ass, then to some NASCAR action (why?), followed by some bullshit about Borat, some yummy Pub Mix, a reubens reference (also yummy), penguin waa waa, an actual sports bit, a pic of Pryor, and finally back to the Penguins waa waa.

I dunno why we can't be full-time bloggers. This is all encompassing shit here. I will not even begin to consider addressing the pearls of wisdom contained within the comment threads. woot. Oh yeah, the animal you see pictured- as if you did not know- is a yak.

As the Cars Turn - Pilot Edition

Tony Stewart, still convinced that the world is out to get him and still faking his "nice guy" persona, is heart broken that one more person has turned his back on our poor Number 20. Bruton Smith, owner of the Las Vegas and Texas Motor Speedways, reconstructed the speedway in the Sin City to include more steeply banked turns and a therapist center in the infield. Bruton insists he made the changes to improve racing at the oval, but Tony has other ideas. "He just hates me! I've performed so well at that track and that mean old man just wants to see me struggle. You like me right? . . . Well, at least I still have my 36th birthday celebration coming up in May. Its going to be great! Jimmy [Johnson] said he would come and bring some friends. He's so dreamy! I just hope he doesn't bring Jeff with him. It got ugly last time Jeff came to a party. He drank a few Zimas and started pinching some other drivers' butts. I thought Martin was gonna pummel him."

Jimmy Johnson later told me he would not be attending Tony's birthday bash. "I have way too much pootang to hit to go to that sausage fest. Tom [Brady] is up 2-0 right now. I've got to put some more effort in. But hey, I think Jeff's going, which is good because its hard to pick up chicks when your teammate is sitting on your lap all night."

Dale, Jr. told me he plans to continue faking mechanical issues and spins as further punishment to his evil stepmother. We all remember how unfair it was when she refused to hand over a majority interest in DEI, Inc. to Dale, Jr.

The feud between Scott Pruett and Juan Pablo Montoya continues to spiral out of control. Angry that JPM did something Pruett has been unable to do in stock cars, specifically: win a race, Pruett called JPM's driving "dirty, dirty, down right dirty driving" or something like that. JPM laughed it off like Peyton Manning laughing off a critique by Sean Salisbury. Angered further by this disrespect, Pruett conspired with border agents to block JPM's return to the states. JPM was last seen being chased by Minutemen in the Arizona desert.

Will anyone commit to Tony's birthday bash? Will Montoya get to Vegas in time for the race? Tune in next week for the next installment of As the Cars Turn.

On a Sad, Serious Note...

I don't care what the rest of you think, but I like NASCAR. Well, I used to. The television coverage of NASCAR over the last several years has been a notch or two below god awful. But I still catch the occasional race and try to follow the news. I also have a feeling that if and when we ever actually get readers, there will be a few NASCAR fans among the millions dozen of them.

On that note, there's some sad news coming out of NASCAR land, Benny Parsons, 1973 Winston Cup Champ, succumbed today to lung cancer at the age of 65.

Growing up, NASCAR was about the only sport I shared with my father as we religiously spent every Sunday watching cars turn left for 4 hours and continues to be the number one subject of our occasional telephone conversations. I am too young to remember Benny Parsons as anything other than a commentator, but those memories are fond. He always seemed to me to be the only person who actually knew what he was talking about. He made the broadcasts bareable, and I mean that in a good way.

In the modern NASCAR world, where "boogity boogity boogity" is apparently a great catchphrase, BP continued his fine ways of actually watching the race and giving meaningful, insightful comments. His contributions will be sorely missed.

Benny Parson
(1941-2007)