Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Believe it or not

One of the following three stories is true although far-fetched.

1. The Rich Rodriguez deposition was leaked. During the deposition a tearful Rodriguez admits that he has made some mistakes especially with his relations with fellow employees. He admitted that he only interviewed with Michigan because he was upset with Pastilong after the two spoke shortly after the Pitt game and only left because Rita called him a sissy for crying after that meeting and he wanted to show her that he "was a real man" and thought Michigan would impress her. He also admitted to starting the "racism" rumors with Magee as a joke just to "see the look only Larry Aschebrook's face." However, RRod remained defiant about his playcalling ability and the deposition was ended after he smacked someone for asking about his lack of passing then put the stenographer in a figure-four after she agreed that bubble screens suck.

2. Jason Gwaltney is in the best shape of his life and is thinking about attempting to come back to WVU as a walk-on. He has finished up all his legal issues and has been in contact with Coach Stewart. Stewart informed Gwaltney that he would be allowed back on the team as a walk-on if paid his own way and stayed out of trouble because "everybody deserves a second chance."

3. Coach Bill Stewart announced yesterday that the gold uniforms are to be retired. The uniforms met with mixed reviews initially by both players and fans. Despite being a top seller, Coach Stewart has eliminated the gold look after admitting that self-consciousness played a big part in the loss to Pitt. "Players were so out of sorts because of Pitt players making fun of us looking like bananas that the men had trouble concentrating on execution." Stewart also announced that the golds would be replaced by grey uniforms. "The basketball team has some sharp greys that I think would look real nice-like on the football field. I've always wanted some grey uni's and I'm running the show now so it's going to happen" said Stewart to conclude his presser.

The answer? Here. A hint? I wouldn't believe any of these until a saw them, but maybe he'll bring Brandon Barrett back too.

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