It's been awhile

I've been really busy at worky of late and that has decreased my ability to post so you haven't heard from me for a while. Another person we haven't heard from is Chris Henry. According to the Fanhouse, things are about to change for one of us. Henry is under investigation for allegedly beating up a 16 year old boy. From Deadspin:

The teen identified that man as Bengals receiver Chris Henry, and says receiver Reggie McNeill was also in the vehicle. The teen also alleges that they were throwing beer bottles at him as he tried to run away. "Go away, we don't want to talk to you."

In Henry's defense it was only because the young lad would not give him directions to the local high school so Henry could tool around looking for babes with his Boone's Farm.

AOL Fanhouse is now reporting that Henry could be innocent again so for the second time he could have been wrongfully accused. Just goes to show you that if someone reports that Chris Henry robbed a liquor store while dressed like the Syracuse Orange and then ran over a group of nuns and children in his get-away no one would question it for a few days.

Henry cleared

An entire nation can rest easy tonight as Chris Henry did not break probation since he did not fail a Kentucky court ordered drug test. Therefore Henry will not be going to jail as previously reported by the entire free world, although knowing Henry there are many other things he could go to jail for by nightfall if he plays his cards right. Only time will tell if the Bengals suspend Henry for failing to get arrested. In related news Chris Henry has also been cleared of previous suspicion for involvement in both the Lincoln and Kennedy assassinations, the Lufthansa heist, Enron, and OJ is pretty sure Henry didn't kill Nicole. Pacman is very disappointed, but relieved. To up the stakes in the ever escalating competition, Pac was going to set fire to a preschool. A preschool filled with puppies and kittens.

Henry could be going to jail

AOL Fanhouse has reported that Chris Henry has failed a court ordered drug test and could be facing jail time for a violation of his probation in Florida. Henry is also on probation in Kentucky and Ohio and could be in trouble in any of the three states. On the bright side Henry is not on probation in 47 other states or Puerto Rico. If Henry does go to jail in any of those three states he might want to ditch the fur, otherwise he may be prom queen.

They Gone

I have to make this quick because of worky, I promise more later this week when shit settles down. Pacman got a year and Henry got 8 games.


The commissioner made these two the first two players suspended under the new NFL standards of life policy. Tank Johnson will be soon to follow after he either is released or escapes from prison during a Natural Born Killers style riot. Pacman and Henry are going to use their time off to read to children and feed the homeless. Or get really drunk and fight people that are looking at them wrong. They haven't decided yet. From the Commish:

Your conduct has brought embarrassment and ridicule upon yourself, your club, and the NFL, and has damaged the reputation of players throughout the league. You have put in jeopardy an otherwise promising NFL career, and have risked both your own safety and the safety of others through your off-field actions. In each of these respects, you have engaged in conduct detrimental to the NFL and failed to live up to the standards expected of NFL players. Taken as a whole, this conduct warrants significant sanction."

Haha, no mention of WVU, therefore it's like they never even graduated went to school lived here. Now everyone at Deadspin can make the easy Huggins/Pacman/Henry joke. At least it's better than the "hey WV is rural here are some stereotypes of rural people" jokes.

Still Going

Like that Energizer bunny the game of career suicide chicken between Chris Henry and Pacman Jones just won't end as neither will blink or back down. At this point it is almost admirable that they just won't let the other one win this thing. As NFL commissioner Roger Goodell tries to implement a player conduct policy that will include suspensions for off the field problems both Pacman and Henry rush to see who can be the first to be suspended.

Las Vegas police will seek felony and misdemeanor charges against Pacman for his role in the triple shooting outside a strip club last month. The charges would be a felony of coercion and misdemeanor threat and battery charges.

Not to be outdone Chris Henry answered the Pacman volley with a return of his own. Henry had his car impounded and was ticketed for driving on a suspended license, failure to use turn signals and a seat belt violation.

If Henry is convicted of any crime in Hamilton County, the Kenton County Attorney's Office would seek to revoke his probation in Kentucky, said chief prosecutor Ken Easterling. Henry could have to serve the remaining 88 days on his 90-day sentence.

Goodell has already scheduled some hearings for next week in New York. From ESPN:

Many in the game believe Goodell will reserve the right to suspend a player for an entire season, with that player then forced to apply for reinstatement, but only after meeting tough criteria. Jones, who has been arrested or questioned by police in 10 incidents since he came into the league in 2005, could be the poster boy for Goodell's get-tough policy.

Pacman and Henry really only have two options right now: (1) cock fight to the death, winner gets reinstated; or (2) both just go out like Tony Montana. You know they have the blow and Tank Johnson could get them the guns.

Pac Man ups the Bet

When Chris Henry and Pac Man Jones left WVU a few years ago and headed off to the first round of the NFL draft, rumor has it that they made a wager with each other: who can get into the most trouble. Pac Man raises. Your move Chris.

As I am sure most of you are aware by now, Pac Man was at a strip club in Vegas this past weekend during the NBA all star game when a bit of a skermish broke out ultimately resulting in gun fire and critical injuries to several non-professional athletes. Jones was interviewed by police because he was a witness, not a material suspect.

Well, the story seems to be changing a little. According to the hospitable folks at the strip club, while Pac Man was making the sky rain with singles from his bling bling trash bag wallet, an uninvited stripper began grabbing money. Pac Man allegedly grabbed her, told her to bug off and then punched her. The club's security guard grabbed ahold of the holy one, Pac Man, and separated the superstar from the uninvited stripper. Pac Man then allegeldy told the security guard, "I'm gonna kill you." There's apparently video evidence that confirms most of this.

One thing led to another and wouldn't you know, a member of Pac Man's mantourage shot the guard and a few other fine folks. "What does [the shot security guard] get for a hard day's work? A bullet in the spine because of a jackass athlete," the club co-owner said. "It's the most tragic thing I can imagine." Well, he could have gotten herpes because of a jackass athlete.

Can anyone say "charged with conspiracy to commit second degree homocidehomicide" followed by "plea to voluntary manslaughter"? And to think, he just got his car back.

Jones has comes a long way since his days in Morgantown. He is now throwing wads of cash at strippers and threatening murder. Four years ago, he was groveling and begging for a free bag of ice from the E-mart. You see Timmy, good things can happen. Good things can happen.

(update by tummysticks) The bouncer also suffered from bite marks on his ankles. It is believed these were also inflicted by Pac-Man or someone in his entourage. Police will begin forensic "grill" comparisons immediately. Also check out a news article showing the amount ($81,000) in the bag and the promoter who tried to steal it.