Thursday, March 6, 2008

Pirate Giveaways

Since spring training is upon us it is time to check out the upcoming season for the Pirates. OK the big signings were...Byung-Hyun Kim and non-roster invitee Doug Mientkiewicz. For a team that lost an NL high 94 games last year and is off to a 1 and 6 start this spring. Hooray for the Bucs.

This means that there are only a couple of things worth watching for this year. One is the potential fire sale that would ship out Jason Bay and possibly Laroche. Hopefully the Pirates could unload Jack Wilson at some point, but it is unlikely since no one took the bait last year. The pitching staff is still young enough with the top four under 30, but also has veteran Matt Morris who showed he still has something left in the tank by compiling a 6.10 ERA since joining the Pirates. And he hasn't been good since 2002 so he fits right in.

That really only leaves one thing for Bucco fans that want to attend a game. Giveaways. After some research on the Pirates homepage we've compiled the best of the sad lot of giveaways this year. Bobbleheads are always popular for some reason. The best of them this year are Manny Sanguillen (April 11th), Pops Stargell (May 9th), and Dave Parker (June 27th). The Chris Duffy bobblehead will be lifesize this year. So it still fits in your pocket. Most Mondays feature McDonald's "Scratch and Win." All fans will be asked to start scratching. First to draw blood gets a Big Mac. Bring the whole family. Tuesdays will feature T-shirts. To keep with the Pirate tradition the shirts will be cheap, functional 4 years ago, but now falling apart at the seams. Wednesdays are for the ladies. Apparently women can pay an extra $20 and join the "Lady Bucs." Last year 6 signed up. All were given hepatitis from a lap dance with Shaun Chacon. This year if the ladies can hit Zach Duke's fastball they get their money back. The Pirates are betting at least half will be able. Thursdays are for Alumni Autographs. Meet all your favorite middle relievers from the late 80's and early 90's. Fridays are the big day at PNC. Once a month there are fireworks. The others involve kicking your least favorite Pirate in the nuts. Watch out John Van Benschoten.

Special nights are few and far between. The "best" might be the Collector's Plate nights. As a member of the Bradford Exchange you can bet that the June 21st Roberto Clemente plate and August 39th Willie Stargell plates will increase in value (value starts at $0). Finally the biggest nights of the year. The three day fireworks/concert promotion in August. On the 14th stay for fireworks after the game and a concert from REO Speedwagon. On the 15th it's Collective Soul. On the 16th everybody's favorite band TBD will take the stage. Early money is on Great White. Pittsburgh Pirate baseball. Making every fan die a little inside every night for 15 straight years.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great post, as a buccos fan it hurts to pay and watch. So we're just forced to drink more, but grat stuff

wolf said...

Who gives a flying shit about the bucs anyway. If you are going to resort to this trash, might as well shut the sight down till fall. Go fuck yourself Option Spread!!

letsplaytummysticks said...

Don't be so bitter just because you'll never see Cabo.

wolf said...

I wake up and see paradise everyday, just got back from the beach (its 87 degrees today) where I was doing shots with the hooters girls.So now I have to go to work for 5 hours , then hit the clubs downtown.. then hit the beach again tomorrow... Bitter, I dont think so..

letsplaytummysticks said...

All that plus an ample supply of dudes willing to put their balls on your back. No wonder you call it "paradise."

wolf said...

Maybe I wasnt clear enough, you guys have a week (weak) spring break, down here it is Spring Break for two months. So tell the lame jokes all you want Opie, by the end of the summer you will be fat at bald at 30, oh wait you might already be there. Kinda sad when you idol is Ron Howard!

Anonymous said...

Jesus. Musk up Ope.

Anonymous said...

Wolf sure sounds like a massive tool!! Buc's rule!