Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Heavily Anticipated Update on Noel Devine

Well, maybe not "heavily anticipated", but I've had a few people asking me if I've heard anything new, and by "a few people" I mean my boss who willingly begrudges me a few moments from each of my work days to contribute to this unread blog, so its the least I could do to answer his inquiries. Anyway...

On February 8, so its not exactly new news, Noel Devine's godfather, namely Deion Sanders, submitted an editorial to the News-Press newspaper of Somewhere, Florida. Take it away Prime Time:
Understand this, Noel Devine is like a son to me. I have fame and wealth, so I don’t need anything from him. I have three sons, so I’m not trying to live vicariously through him. My motives are as pure as a child’s love.
Fame? Vicariously? When was the last name anyone talked about you Deion? Oh yeah, that's right, during the recruiting of Noel.

Deion then attacks Noel's high school coach, James Iandoli. Apparently, Mr. Iandoli gave Noel a tongue lashing after Devine fumbled during his last high school game. Ah, so he's got a fumbling problem. Four more years of Jason Colsom anyone?

Deion then goes into each school:
I love my former school, but I wouldn’t recommend the Seminoles. Why? Their record the past few years, their poor offense and their inconsistency at quarterback. You want me to give my blessing to an undersized running back in a situation like that?
That's actually rational. But of course, Bobby Bowden blamed Noel's decision not on rational reasoning, but on the Interwebs, the emails and the ebays.

He then speaks highly of Urban Meyer and the Gators, but thinks its too close to home for Devine. He also speaks highly of Nick Saban who is "saying and doing all the right things and seems to be the disciplinarian coach I’d like for Noel to have, but this is his first year at Alabama. You have to show us something first." And stop letting things like "coon-ass" get recorded even though the story about the coon-ass was suppose to be off record.

Finally, Prime Time discusses our beloved Mountaineers:

That takes us to West Virginia, where Noel verbally committed. I talked to Rich Rodriguez early Wednesday morning. Noel had a wonderful visit, but I was troubled by a couple of things they suggested. They were going to allow Noel to live off-campus with his child’s mother.
I asked Rodriguez what happens if Candace — who I have great respect for and think is a wonderful mother — and Noel have problems like every other relationship in America. God forbid, she decided to leave with the child in the middle of the season. How would that affect Noel, considering all of the loss and tragedy he’s dealt with in his life?
Besides, I don’t agree with freshmen living off-campus, especially considering the problems he had with attendance in high school.
Well, Deion, you have to understand that teenage pregnancy and illegitimate relationships are a matter of course in West Virginia. At least they wouldn't be living in a trailer park with a washer and dryer on the porch next door to Pittsnogle's parents. Or would they? That trailer park beside Chateau would be a convenient place to live considering its proximity to the football complex.

But seriously, how friggin' excited was RR after talking to Deion on the phone?! Holy shit. I bet he walked around all afternoon just saying, "Woot!"

Finally, Deion concludes with a bit of wisdom we've already deduced here at the Bastard Sons: That Devine needs to go to prep school where he can learn to get good at paying people to take his tests and pretend to stay awake in class and do well in school. After all, that's what college is about: getting good grades and getting an education. Look what it did for us and Pac Man Jones. We're all poor with mountains of student debt and Pac Man Jones is walking into strip clubs with garbage bags full of cash inciting riots and shootings.

But in all seriousness, it was unlikely Devine was going to qualify academically this year, so he was going to prep school regardless. He would continue to be recruited by other school while there, so he's letter of intent to WVU would have been worthless anyway. We all hope the kid gets his head on straight and ends up playing D1 college ball, as long as its not for Virginia Tech, Miami or Louisville.


Brave Sir Robin said...

I also hope he doesn't play for Pittsburgh, Ohio State, Penn State, Notre Dame, or Marshall. Taking into consideration his academic proclivities, Marshall is more of a possibility than you might think. Woot.

letsplaytummysticks said...

Nice update. I love a good soap opera. You know somewhere Jason Gwaltney is jumping up and down yelling, "look at me, write about me, that's it I'm holding my breath."