Thursday, February 1, 2007

I'm Sorry

Sports Illustrated is issuing an apology for spreading the internet hoax that a West Virginia University fan took a dump in the GT band section during the Gator Bowl.

We've clarified everything in the issue that closed Monday," SI Executive Editor Terry McDonnell said in a phone interview from his New York office Wednesday. "We're very happy to apologize. We were wrong, and very embarrassed. We were just wrong; it was stupid, a horrendous mistake. People got into trouble (at SI). We regret all of it."

This act has set off a string of apologies in college football.

VT has apologized for buying a trophy case for the national championship trophy. That might have been a little presumptuous.

Friedgen has not apologized for eating the last piece of apple pie. It was warm and delicious and if he ate the first nine pieces he is entitled to the tenth. He did, however, apologize to a trainer for eating his chocolate lab. He misunderstood the meaning of the term.

Nick Saban has apologized for calling someone a "coon-ass." Although his apology was "I am sorry for using a derogatory term (whispered 'on tape')."

Joe Paterno apologized for not warning Ceasar. They had met earlier in the day and he knew Brutus was up to something.

Dave Wannestedt apologized for his entire solo coaching career. He will no longer get out of bed until Jimmy Johnson tells him to do so.

Marshall has apologized for wasting valuable time opponents could have used for preparing for a real team.

Syracuse has apologized for the Pat Patterson era. They really thought he could be a bigger version of McNabb. They were half right.

Oklahoma has apologized for accepting BCS invitations. They mistakenly thought it was for a "dance" not to play football versus LSU, USC, or Boise State.

ESPN has apologized for Lou Holtz, Mark May, Lee Corso, and Desmond Howard. From now on they will actually require football knowledge AND speaking ability from all commentators on Gameday.

and finally,

Pete Carroll has apologized for overall douchebaggery. Just kidding he'll always be a douche.

If you've heard an apology I missed let us know.

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