Tuesday, June 19, 2007

It's wedding season

Are you kidding me? I love crab cakes! They're phenomenal. Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? You motorboatin son of a bitch! You old sailor you! Where is she? She still in the house?

Every wedding is a chance to make a memory (for the bride) that will last forever. The groom just tries to make it through without wrecking everything while wondering why that ring hurts so damn much. Know what else hurts? Handcuffs. Just ask the bride, groom and Quincy Wilson. From the Gazette:

Friends said Wilson was attending a wedding party at the bar when police asked several people to leave the area, then arrested those who refused, Cincinnati station WLWT-TV reported. Wilson, the bride and the groom were among those arrested. Wilson, a native of Weirton, was charged with disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor, Dial said.

Either the police were way to quick to start trying to arrest everyone in sight, a claim I've heard of Huntington before, or that is the coolest bride ever for going down with the ship when the cops came. Not so cool, the honeymoon in jail. Watch your cornhole Peterman.

Go comatose for me baby. White trash. Hillbilly.


Anonymous said...

Then he says, "Gibrony!" (laughter)

Baba-ganush. I need ya big guy.

I'm gonna sit over here- have some flavor, not gonna talk to you.

Those WERE real cards. Slaw.

letsplaytummysticks said...

LB Fleer-Donruss-Topps-Uperdeck, married into many families for his slaw recipe. He put the cards in himself. I need to know the GPS distance to the beer cart.

Anonymous said...

Actually, that would be spelled "Elby" - not to split hairs or gallons of slaw.