Noel, Noel

National signing day has turned into a bizarre mix of pseudo-celebrity, betrayal, money (at least for USC), and devastated suitors crying over what could have been. In other words it is a great soap opera. Today 25 commitments will have signed with West Virginia University, but everyone is talking about not them, or the Pitt basketball game, but the mystery of Noel Devine. Devine reportedly verbally committed to WVU yesterday to close out his recruiting and called a 1 p.m. press conference to announce today. Deion Sanders, never one to miss a press conference, arrived this morning and convinced Devine that abstinence is the best policy, at least with signing a Letter of Intent.

Devine could still sign with FSU, Florida, Alabama, or WVU within the next few weeks, but it appears as though he is off to prep school for a year. This will give Devine a chance to make sure he qualifies academically before signing. The biggest question with Devine before this morning was would he qualify. If he did not he would have been off to prep school anyway and the rest of the nation could have continued to recruit him.

So instead he will stay uncommitted in military school so that he make sure he has lots of love letters from schools all over the country. I have already written a template for all universities to feel free to use for Noel.

Dearest Noel:

How are you doing? Hope all is well. I was putting N.D. + (insert school here) on a chalk board the other day with hearts around it for three hours before I realized what I was doing. I feel like such a little school girl around you. I saw your latest video. You were soooo hot. My heart was beating so fast when that big guy almost got you, but then you got away. I was sooooo happy for you. For us. I think about you all of the time. You and me. Together. Forever. Running and jumping and spinning. In tight pants. Did you hear about (insert coach from other team here)? I know you still talk to him, but I heard he has been all over town with other running backs. In fact he told me he is sooooo over you. And he is so out of touch isn't he. He asked me how to text message on a rotary phone. LOL.

I have included a candy bar. I know you have a sweet tooth. Don't tell anybody, I could get in trouble. We're so naughty together aren't we. LOL. Inside the candy bar is another "present" and I hope you can buy yourself something nice with it. Maybe NCAA 2008. Did you see where we are ranked in that game? It just isn't the same without you in it. We could have been #1, but I made you anyway. You are a 100 in every category in my game. You should see your stats, you have 4,300 yards in 6 games. We are so awesome together.

You haven't been seeing anybody else have you? I sent you all those hats and shirts and when I see you after the game you are never wearing them. Are you breaking up with me? What do I have to do? I can change. I'll be just like before I promise. Don't you ever leave me. I have friends. I can make your life very difficult. I know where you live. I'm sorry. Don't be mad. I love you. Why won't you say it back? Just once I'd like to hear it.

Anyway I'm rambling now. You do that to me. I just get so excited when I think of you. I'll text you later.

Love always and forever,

Coach