Thursday, November 29, 2007

Twas the night before Pittsburgh...

Twas the night before Pittsburgh, when all through my mind,
Were visions of couch burnings, both yours and mine.
Firemen were resting and acting quite lazy,
But they knew that things were about to get crazy.
The players were nestled, Markell did his dreds,
While visions of Bourbon Street danced in their heads.
There were Quinton's gold teeth, Larry's son in his lap,
While the quarterback made noises to sound like a cat.
When down in the end zone there arose such a noise,
They sprang from their homes and called all their boys.
To the field they flew, fast as Devine,
Making sure to pick up the offensive line.
The invaders had arrived at the stadium early,
These Panthers were looking noticeably surly.
There was a point to this late-night trip through the hills,
They were out on the field doing defensive drills.
With a dapper old coach who combed his mustache,
You knew in a moment it must be Wannstedt.
He'd made his name as a defensive master,
And he whistled and shouted for them to run faster!
"Watch Slaton! Watch Schmitt! Watch Reynaud and White!
Watch option! Watch bubble! Could be a rough night!
Let's stand at the goal line and build a big wall,
And keep them from their shot to play for it all!"
As they began to believe his bold rally cry,
There was a flash and a pop up high in the sky.
They reacted the same, with a quick double take,
What they saw made them stop in their cleats and quake.
On the top of the stadium a man made his stand,
As he calmly adjusted his Nike wristbands.
He said "My name's Rich, as you surely know,"
Then ran down the bleachers with Mountaineers in tow.
They were dressed all in gold, from their heads to their feet,
And they looked like they'd win a 12-team track meet.
A bundle of plays he had in his book,
And there was no mistaking that confident look.
Pitt's eyes, how they widened! Their hearts, how they pounded!
All for the biggest game since this brawl was founded.
One side had momentum, the other desperation,
This battle wouldn't wait for the eyes of the nation!
Caridi was roused from a much-needed sleep,
So were Hickman and Hertzel, the last with a bleep.
They brought their pens, paper and elaborate prose,
To witness this battle of bitter old foes.
It was dark and cold, your breath you could see,
But that didn't stop the kickoff of Pat McAfee.
The tackle, of course, came from an old Hawk named Emery,
And so started this game that would soon be a memory.
They spoke so few words as they went to work,
But score after score drove the visitors berserk.
The Mountaineers rolled, as was expected,
While the Panthers backed off, clearly dejected.
There was a Gatorade shower that gave poor Rich shivers,
While no one seemed happier than one Vaughn Rivers.
They exclaimed after singing about Almost Heaven,
"Well see you in New Orleans on January 7."


Brave Sir Robin said...

This was provided to me through the myspaces and is not my original composition. If it were my own work it would have been much more brief. I still like it.

Anonymous said...

I think I received this in my inbox 30 times this week!

Anonymous said...

How disappointing! We should be ashamed after that pitiful performance.

Marv said...

'Twas the Day After Pitt

Twas the day after PITT, and all thru the State
Not a Mountaineer was stirring, due their fate
The euphoria was gone, reality had settled in
As with most big games, we failed to win
In 88, Notre Dame did us in,
And 93, Florida kept rubbing it in
In 96, Miami blocked the kick
Then there were the heroics of the criminal Vick

What went wrong on the previous eve
It’s more than any true fan can believe
And as usual, we fell for the abundance of hype
And then we were crushed, what a terrible sight
The defense was stout, their play was courageous
But at the end of the night, even that couldn’t save us
They played with such heart, yes Dingle, Dykes, Magro and Reed
But it wasn’t enough on that cold, bitter field
It was the offense last night that failed to deliver
As the O-line blocks didn’t open a sliver
For Slaton to run, for Schmidt to pound, nor White to amaze
As Pitt’s defense torched our game plan ablaze
Then Devine intervention, it really did seem
But, Pitt stopped our last drive and killed our dream
No national championship, a BCS Bowl at least
Because, our fine team did win the Big East

In Rod We Trust the banner did read
All Mountaineers had to do, was to believe
But that terrible foe from across the border
Put college football back to its natural order
Not Oregon, Kansas, Mizzou, WVU
You see the order starts with Ohio State, LSU
As hard as we try, to reach that plateau
We always end up suffering a fatal blow

We get little credit from Corso, Herbstreidt, and May
And we will, until we win the Big Game on that day
What’s most galling is the West Virginia born traitor
Yes, Lou Holtz is WVU’s biggest hater
Notre Dame and South Carolina’s number one hawk
Went over the line with his PITT pep talk
Keep in mind he’s little in stature among men
He’s even on the second string of ESPN
If you are like me who enjoyed all the crow
He had to eat during Notre Dame’s season of woe
Please any school, hire him away
So finally, we can enjoy College Game Day

Don’t despair Mountaineers, we’ve had another great run
During the year, we enjoyed some wonderful fun
The magic of White, the power of the Schmidt
Made defenses go into a hemorrhaging fit
Slaton and Devine were often off to the races
Reynaud and Jalloh put defenses through their paces
The punishment dealt by Wicks, Magro and Mundy
Was the result of the D-line’s aggressive front 3
Dykes, Dingle and Berry anchored that big-D
Leading to terrific punting by Pat McAfee
A much-maligned secondary played beautifully this year
As did linebackers, who played without fear
Yes, there are weaknesses to address for the bowl and next year
But, it’s still great to be a proud Mountaineer
And to all, after this terrible night
Let’s don’t ever get caught in that tidal wave of hype
Thanks to the coaches and thanks to the team
You are still held in the highest esteem
We hope by our voices and cheers that were loud
While we share your disappointment, of you we’ll always be proud....

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