Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Round of Reubens

WVU had one of the biggest weekends in school history for soccer starting last Friday. The men's soccer team beat a top five Duke team on the road on Friday night 1-0. The women's soccer team lost 2-1 to #5 Texas A&M on the road, but then beat down Xavier 5-1 on Sunday. I'd attempt some in depth analysis, but my soccer knowledge mostly comes from foosball so the team needs to remember that spinning is illegal and drink after you give up a goal.

This turned out to be a bad weekend for many people. WVU football was off after a Thursday game so many people had to rediscover the wife/girlfriend or both if your lucky after a few weeks and she demanded a weekend of attention. That meant a lost weekend for many unfortunate souls. Those without a significant other may have spent the weekend hungover after a football-less bender or even worse drunk enough to talk to that 9 hanging out at Wiley's or da Lizard only to discover the next morning she was a 3. But no matter bad you had it, these weekend warriors had it just as bad.

1. WVU football fans. Not only did WVU not have a game, but the Big East teams that did play may want a do over. Louisville losing to Kentucky hurts Rutgers, USF, and WVU as much as Louisville as all the top Big East teams need to lose only to each other in order to keep schedule strength high. On top of the Cardinals loss WVU fell to #5 in both polls despite continued winning. Thanks to the site WVPressbox as they pointed out the voting of Jon Wilner of the San Jose Mercury News which can be found here. Wilner is an AP voter and has WVU 15th behind Nebraska and has Appy State at 23rd and South Carolina at 4 above Florida, WVU, Texas, etc.

2. Charlie Weiss. He has the same haircut every fat kid has in fourth grade and seems to always have a bit of snot stuck to his upper lip, but his biggest problem is his offensive bodily odor offense. ND has yet to score an offensive touchdown this season and is averaging 4.3 points per game. The Irish are averaging negative 4.67 yards per game rushing and are last in every major offensive category except passing and they are 115th in passing (out of 119). Navy is averaging 378.67 yards per game to lead the nation (WVU is 2nd at 343.67), at this point it may not be a stretch for ND to not achieve that in the entire season. Remember that Weiss is a former offensive coordinator.

3. Mark Snyder. The WVU hangover was worse than a $3 bottle of wine hangover for the Herd as they took a beating from a I-AA team at home. The University of New Hampshire beat Marshall 48-35 and lead at the half 24-0. NH ran for 213 yards and threw for 289 against the Herd defense. Marshall now has the second worse rushing defense in the country and 100th total defense. Remember that Mark Snyder is a former defensive coordinator.

4. However, according to reports the worst weekend belonged to Pitt basketball player Levance Fields. Fields, 20 years old, was asked to leave Pure night club's under 21 alcohol-free party after showing up whiskey bent and hell bound. After yelling and swearing in the night club Fields was ushered outside where he proceeded to start yelling at another male in the street. Fields was approached by Pittsburgh Police Officer Michael Johns who working security at Pure. Johns asked Fields to stop the ruckus. Fields then allegedly punched Johns in the chest and grabbed at Johns' gun. Another security guard was nearby and proceeded to taser Fields' ass. Fields was taken to the hospital to piss out the electricity then thrown in jail.

Fields was arraigned yesterday afternoon before District Judge Tara Smith on charges of aggravated assault, disarming a law enforcement officer, disorderly conduct and public drunkenness. He was released on $3,000 bond. His next court hearing is scheduled for Sept. 24.

I would assume the arrest looked something like the following (NSFW language) with Fields saying "You fucking hammered me." You're going to get it again.

1 comment:

Brave Sir Robin said...

You fuckin hammered me.
I am being nice to ya.
I can't- you fuckin hammered me.